Take stock and admire the view

I live in one of the most beautiful places on the British Isles. Durham has; history, green, flowing water, and is stunning! The only downside; the hills! They are everywhere and there is no avoiding them, especially walking up to college on a morning.

Last week I decided to go for a walk, it was a gorgeous afternoon. Cold but bright. I headed, like a dog, towards the water. When I am in one of those kind of moods I just want to explore.

Explore I did! I found new paths and ways around. It was FANTASTIC! And for the most part I could hear the cathedral bells ringing out.

As I was walking I saw a bench by the river and felt inclined, a God nudging I call it, to sit. The view of the river was breathtaking!
I felt God say I want you to 'stop and admire the view'.

If you like climbing hills, as I do, if you didn't stop and rest you would wear yourself out and possibly cause yourself all kinds of injuries. Furthermore, if you kept climbing all the way to the top and didn't take stock and admire the view it would seem a bit of a pointless walk wouldn't it?!

So one thing I'm thinking about doing is stopping and admiring the view along this journey. I would like to invite you to do the same.

Can I invite you to make comments bellow my blog posts of anything which is challenging you.

Writing and journaling helps, in my experience, have you tried it?

I am setting myself the goal of taking myself physically out of college at set points in the day or week to write, have a coffee and 'admire the view'.

Part of the pause is to 'take stock' remember.

So take time to look how far you have come, what has challenged you?, what was helpful?, what have you learned? Then look forward to what comes next.

Have you got more of a climb to go?, are there resting places you can see along the way?, are you heading downhill after a pause of a while at the top?, what things can you see in the journey ahead where you can smile?, what might be the more difficult patches? Ready?

GO!

John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you”.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

At the start of every New Year I like to reflect a little on the year before, what has stood out to me? What had God done in my life? What has changed? How do I feel about what has happened in the year just past? What have I learnt? Am I the same person I was at the start of last year? You get the idea.

So this year has been no different. As I have enjoyed the sunshine, fresh air and relaxing atmosphere of the start of this New Year I have been pondering whether to write a blog at all. If I did what on earth would I say?

Well I started with my first question; what has stood out to me this year?

I could list any number of things; the queens jubilee, the Olympics and the summer cafe outreach we as a church ran for the two week period that was on, or our amazing two week family holiday to Malta. Or how about the major transition of changing career path and accepting God’s calling to train for ministry in the church of England, then starting the training and all that has involved?!

Yes 2012 held some amazing highlights and some hard times too. I am sure if I racked my brains hard enough I could list so much more. However, what hit me above everything else is the incredible blessing God has given me in the friends He has provided me with!!

This year I have started to learn to depend on people in new ways, God has been trying to teach me this this year, and I have been shocked and amazed at the love and support I have received.  Yes God has brought loving, hospitable, caring, funny, intelligent, beautiful people into my life to share its journey with. People who have housed me (for a ridiculous number of months), fed me, looked after my stuff, ferried me around, played with me, watched films with me, let me cry and moan on their shoulders, people who have laughed with me, drank wine with me, walked and talked with me and so much more!!! Above all they have loved me. They are fantastic people!!

Some have recently entered my life, others have been around much longer, some even longer still. They have seen my grumpy, sad, challenging sides as well as some of the more amiable sides of my personality and character.

I don’t know why I have been blessed in such a way, God is good to us just because He loves us and I feel ultra special to have so many blessings around in my life!!! I would be lost without these people and I thank God daily for them.

If you are one of these people – thank you!! Please know I love you and value your impact on my life, but more importantly God loves you and is using you for His glory (even on the days you don’t feel like it.)

I believe we are made to be in relationship with one another and although this is not always easy God does bless us with important people to share this adventure of life with. I look forward to sharing the year ahead with the people who God has blessed me with more and more.

In 2013 there will be more new people who will enter my life and who knows what kind of impact they will have?! Every relationship will change, the always are, but some will change more dramatically than others as they will move, start new jobs and bless other people’s lives and although I am not looking forward to this I know it is God’s plan and purpose and I shall trust His provision knowing He will solidify the relationships He has blessed me with in new and exciting ways.

Looking back to the year just gone and looking forward to the year ahead what stands out and inspires you?

I hope you have a fantastic year whatever it holds for you and quoting a very good friend of mine ‘May you be blessed by and be a blessing to the people who are in your life’ in 2013.

Love, Deborah ><>

'This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.' 1 John 4:9

Christmas, what is it all about?

Have you stopped and listened to the music blasting from the ceilings as you look at endless potential Christmas presents? What does it proclaim? What do children think when they think of Christmas day? Presents, a man with a white beard and red jacket, reindeer, elf’s and a chance to see some good films on t.v?

Are we called as ministers and prospective ministers of religion to proclaim accurately the story of Christmas? If so, how do we do that? But what is the ‘accurate’ story of Christmas? Do we know and does it matter? These are a few of the questions brandishing my rather fuzzy head after only ten weeks at theological college.

Last week I listened to a fantastic sermon for the college staff from our amazing Chaplin for last year’s college carol service. It brought the nativity story alive in a way I could not have imagined. It made it something which could have happened right then and there, was it accurate? Perhaps not 100% theologically...discuss...which we did. Yes, my humble lecturer listens to us rebellious lot and takes our criticism wisely and with dignity (if you hadn’t noticed I think she’s not too bad ;-)). But did it matter that she had three wise women turning up at the crib scene and not epiphany? No (at least not in my opinion) and why? Because it made the gospel come alive and relevant to the group of people who would be listening to it. That is what I believe Christmas is about.

You see, God has always been here. It is us who have stopped ourselves acknowledging His existence. Thus He brought Himself right into our situation and made Himself completely relevant. So much so that everyone from the lowest of the low (shepherds) to the highest of the high (kings or wise people)saw Him and acknowledged who He was, a few Angels even showed up to sing and dance a bit.

Last week I visited a school where the children proclaimed the gospel story through words, actions and song. This is a non-religious school and they were doing a job better than I could have done and I’m supposed to be the ‘trainee vicar’. Was it theologically accurate? Nope, not entirely, did it matter? I don’t think so because if, on some level, the gospel got through to one person in that room when it was preformed week then it has been used by God in a very ordinary situation. Even if not, God challenged me. I mean there was a bunch of children singing “Jesus is a gift, He is a gift for us all” over and over. Now if that’s not God working through the ordinary I don’t know what is. I was moved to tears. And it hit me; surely Christmas is about God working through the ordinary – bringing Himself into a situation for our sake.

So this Christmas look for God in the ordinary. In the silliness around the Christmas table, the candle flickering, the Christmas lights, the t.v. programmes, the songs we sing and especially in the gifts because God’s most precious gift He gave to us over 2,000 years ago in His One and Only Son – Jesus.

Hope you have a very Merry and Joy filled Christmas!

Love and Blessings, Deborah ><>

Do we crowd out God?

I wake up every morning and say "hello" to God, roll over and put on the radio. I then get ready for the day ahead, rush through Morning Prayer (I am an ordinand now) with a bit of a ‘quiet time’, which involves reading my bible and reeling off a few prayers and a meditation  for the day. At breakfast I might read a Christian book or the church times (I told you I am an Ordinand), walk to work listening to some Christian music or catch up with my mum on the phone and grab the bus where I again pick up a Christian book to read before starting the day at work. On the way home I might check my diary, meet a friend for coffee, and eat with friend’s some dinner. By the time I have checked e-mails, done any work I need to do, attended meetings or whatever it might be the evening holds, I roll into bed, do evening prayer with another meditation, jot a few things in my prayer journal and switch off the light.

In any of that time have I made space to listen to God? No. Why do we need to listen to Him? Surely we listen on Sunday mornings or in our worship sessions?

Well, sometimes yes we do.  But at others we are too busy doing other things, talking to friends, serving one another, ensuring things are running smoothly, preoccupied with liturgy or where you are in the service...the list goes on.

But why is this important? How many relationships do you have which are one way? I bet it is not many. I know I wouldn’t be too impressed if my friends started ignoring me, putting on the t.v., reading a book, talking to other friends whenever I tried to talk to them. Isn’t this what we do to God? He wants a relationship with us and calls us friends so wants a friendship – us talking and Him talking too. But are we crowding God out?

Hold on, I listen to Christian music. I read Christian books. I read my bible and pray and meditate on Godly things. I attend services, pray with friends and discuss my bible. Surely I am listening to God and involving Him in every area of my life?

In some ways yes, these are all good things to be doing (you might be thinking you need to get a life and you know what, you probably aren’t wrong!) but are they not distractions from pausing and just BEING with God?

I wrote this a few weeks ago. Since, things have got worse. I am now a full-time training ordinand. This entails getting up and doing morning prayer with the community in which I live and work every morning after breakfast at 8.30am and evening prayer every night before dinner at 5.15pm with optional Eucharist on  a Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning at 7.30 am and Compline at 9pm Monday and Wednesday. Not to mention community worship every Tuesday evening, again this is compulsory.

All this is great, but accompanied by busy , long days ,and lots of time with people in the community it leaves little time to just ‘be’ with God. Who would think that training vicars would have less time listening to God than anyone else? Could it be that I am crowding God out more now than I ever did previously?

This topic has really challenged me! I am not pretending to have an answer, but I do wonder what God makes of all this. I think that God loves us and wants to spend time with us, I think this isn’t for His benefit but for our own, so why do we not make time to be with Him? This is my challenge, to fit my time around God not the other way round. Rather than trusting the set prayer, listening to Christian lyrics, reading Christian literature and generally filling my life with ‘good Christian things’. Not that I think any of these things are wrong but instead think I may benefit more from actually spending time with my Father, Creator, councillor and friend. What do you think?

Love and Blessings, Deborah <><

Hello all, 

 I have been reading a book which has had the most peculiar cover. I have seen this cover in numerous book shops, even before I owned the book and for a long time I have thought it was an odd pattern to have on the cover, till now. 

 Let me describe it for you. It is orange and has an odd shaped river running down the middle, odd because it doesn't quite flow as a river should. As the book is about two people who love one another and nothing to do with a river at all you can see my confusion. 

A couple of weeks ago I sat in bed and looked down at this cover. Now bare in mind how long I have seen this cover for. Suddenly, I realised it was the silhouette of two faces, one male and the other female. How much more that makes sense! 

 I stared at the cover for ages, a little like that picture of the old and young women in the same picture. But it depends how you look at it. That's what this was like. As I looked at it the word 'perspective' came to mind. 

How often things are about perspective. We can travel through life sticking with one perspective - our own or we can chose to see things for a different perspective. Sometimes this other perspective can come from listening to others and hearing their perspective, this can broaden our view. Perhaps if someone else had pointed out the silhouette's when looking at the book I would have seen it too. However, by far the best perspective to have is God's. 

 God see's all things and therefore can do what we can't; see things from every perspective. The bible tells us the blind will see and the deaf will hear. (Isaiah 29:19) Yes those who are both physically blind and deaf will be healed, Jesus did those while He was on earth did He not?! But it is also reffering to those who do not see or hear out of choice. However, if we ask God He will enlighten us. We will see things from another perspective. Perhaps a friend is going through a hard time and you can't understand why, ask God to show you, ask Him to help you hear them when they speak to you about it. Perhaps you would like to know what to do next, ask God but also ask Him to help you accept what He shows you. Of course it may be you slimply want to ask to have your eyes opened and to see His hand at work. 

 A little word of warning, God answers our prayers but for His glory NOT ours!!! Bare this in mindp when you are asking and talking to Him. Also, with revelation sometimes comes responsibility so be prepared to respond. However always remember we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (Philippians 4:13) 

 So with a little change of perspective it is amazing what we will see differently. 

 Love and blessings, and as always please get in touch, leave a comment or let me know what you think it's great to discuss these things not just write about them. But also to pray for and with you, Deborah ><>

A worship offering?

It has been a while since I last blogged but I have decided it is once again time for me to pick up my blogging pen (or keyboard) and start to share some thoughts about how the world and life relates to my journey of faith. The adventure is a continuous one.

Yesterday at church i noticed that a member of the worship group had left their electric guitar on the communion table between the alter candles. Here, i feel, is a symbolic picture of modern church.

Some may have taken offence at the blatant disregard of the symbolic significance of the communion table by putting the guitar on it. However, it made me think. Actually placing the thing which is precious and is used for God's glory in worship on a Sunday morning on the table which stands in place of an alter; a place of sacrifice and offering posed the question; are we willing to do the same? Am i willing to lay the things i treasure on the communion table?

At the same time i was struck by the mix of traditional and modern. Here we have the historical communion table for the celebration of the Eucharist met with the modern way of worship;an electric guitar. Isn't this the ideal way of modern church? Mixing the best of tradition and spiritual significance with modern worship and technology to engage with current society.

What do you think, can we mix modern and old like this? Does it work?
What do we feel called to offer as sacrifices to God and do we actually do it?

Hope this makes you think,
blessings, Deborah ><>

'I have summoned you buy name and you are mine.' Isaiah 43:

Stepping out of you confort zone...again!





The wind whipps my face, rain lashes and i shiver. The sea roars and snaps at the rocks somewhere far bellow. I know there is only one way; forward...

I have come to the conclusion this week, and i appologise if i am repeating myself with this blog, that to move forward requires sacrafice and normally a painful one at that. How many of us stand on the edge of opportunities and see the horror around us and not the potential? Like standing on the edge of that cliff.





God doesn't tell us not to take risks. He doesn't tell us to bottle up our feelings and hide who we are. Let's adapt that picture a little more.....





....warmth oozed from painfilled sears on my arms and legs. A sticky thick substance flowed freely against the sharp freezing, salt fillled air, from the jagged slash on my cheak bone, stinging....





Sometimes we are injured and broken but God know's what He is doing, and although we feel there is nothing other than falling into a pit of doom, God knows what lies ahead and calls us to follow Him.





That is SCARY!!





This week i took, yet another, step of faith and it hurts saying goodbye to hopes and dreams;





...I turned, tears streaming from my eyes. The leather squeeked against my jeans as i moved. I tugged at my seatbelt and the black cab pulled away. Through the narrow mirror i could see what i was leaving behind. He stood there, smashual (smart yet cassual) in appearance. He looked great. His lingering aroma still hung on the edge of my nose. I hated saying goodbye. Memories spun through my mind. Plans we had sat and discussed for years dissapearing before me. I didn't believe it would be the last time i saw him, but right now i needed to take this journey. As i focused on what lay ahead a peace passed over me, then fear and dread, mixed in a toxic excitement. I smiled, this might be the craziest adventure i had taken yet...





Just to clarrify that was just an illustration and this whole thing has nothing to do with men at all in my life!!!





Life is scary and hard but what i believe i have learnt this week is that in order to progress and move on you have to take risks, be vulnerable and be open to paying a price higher than the one you would naturally like. Through this, God produces the most amazing adventure you could possibly have! It's not easy; it's not designed to be, but it is there to be expereinced.





Trust me! Trust me! TRUST ME! God yells and we....

well that's your choice. Daily learn to trust God in new ways, although it is not easy I know God has promised me He is shaping me. Like the sea moving the pebbles on a beach against the grains of sand and smoothing me out.

If you know a little of what i am referring to then i encourage you to keep running the race God has for you. Please share your story with me too and hold to the promises of God. This is the one He reminded me off this moning:

But now, this is what the Lord says -

He who created you, O Jacob,

He who formed you, O Israel,

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you buy name and you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour;

I give Egypt for your ransom,

Cush and Seba in your stead.

Since you are precious and honoured in my sight,

and because I love you...

Isaiah 43: 1 - 4

Love and Blessings, Deborah ><>