'This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.' 1 John 4:9

Christmas, what is it all about?

Have you stopped and listened to the music blasting from the ceilings as you look at endless potential Christmas presents? What does it proclaim? What do children think when they think of Christmas day? Presents, a man with a white beard and red jacket, reindeer, elf’s and a chance to see some good films on t.v?

Are we called as ministers and prospective ministers of religion to proclaim accurately the story of Christmas? If so, how do we do that? But what is the ‘accurate’ story of Christmas? Do we know and does it matter? These are a few of the questions brandishing my rather fuzzy head after only ten weeks at theological college.

Last week I listened to a fantastic sermon for the college staff from our amazing Chaplin for last year’s college carol service. It brought the nativity story alive in a way I could not have imagined. It made it something which could have happened right then and there, was it accurate? Perhaps not 100% theologically...discuss...which we did. Yes, my humble lecturer listens to us rebellious lot and takes our criticism wisely and with dignity (if you hadn’t noticed I think she’s not too bad ;-)). But did it matter that she had three wise women turning up at the crib scene and not epiphany? No (at least not in my opinion) and why? Because it made the gospel come alive and relevant to the group of people who would be listening to it. That is what I believe Christmas is about.

You see, God has always been here. It is us who have stopped ourselves acknowledging His existence. Thus He brought Himself right into our situation and made Himself completely relevant. So much so that everyone from the lowest of the low (shepherds) to the highest of the high (kings or wise people)saw Him and acknowledged who He was, a few Angels even showed up to sing and dance a bit.

Last week I visited a school where the children proclaimed the gospel story through words, actions and song. This is a non-religious school and they were doing a job better than I could have done and I’m supposed to be the ‘trainee vicar’. Was it theologically accurate? Nope, not entirely, did it matter? I don’t think so because if, on some level, the gospel got through to one person in that room when it was preformed week then it has been used by God in a very ordinary situation. Even if not, God challenged me. I mean there was a bunch of children singing “Jesus is a gift, He is a gift for us all” over and over. Now if that’s not God working through the ordinary I don’t know what is. I was moved to tears. And it hit me; surely Christmas is about God working through the ordinary – bringing Himself into a situation for our sake.

So this Christmas look for God in the ordinary. In the silliness around the Christmas table, the candle flickering, the Christmas lights, the t.v. programmes, the songs we sing and especially in the gifts because God’s most precious gift He gave to us over 2,000 years ago in His One and Only Son – Jesus.

Hope you have a very Merry and Joy filled Christmas!

Love and Blessings, Deborah ><>

Do we crowd out God?

I wake up every morning and say "hello" to God, roll over and put on the radio. I then get ready for the day ahead, rush through Morning Prayer (I am an ordinand now) with a bit of a ‘quiet time’, which involves reading my bible and reeling off a few prayers and a meditation  for the day. At breakfast I might read a Christian book or the church times (I told you I am an Ordinand), walk to work listening to some Christian music or catch up with my mum on the phone and grab the bus where I again pick up a Christian book to read before starting the day at work. On the way home I might check my diary, meet a friend for coffee, and eat with friend’s some dinner. By the time I have checked e-mails, done any work I need to do, attended meetings or whatever it might be the evening holds, I roll into bed, do evening prayer with another meditation, jot a few things in my prayer journal and switch off the light.

In any of that time have I made space to listen to God? No. Why do we need to listen to Him? Surely we listen on Sunday mornings or in our worship sessions?

Well, sometimes yes we do.  But at others we are too busy doing other things, talking to friends, serving one another, ensuring things are running smoothly, preoccupied with liturgy or where you are in the service...the list goes on.

But why is this important? How many relationships do you have which are one way? I bet it is not many. I know I wouldn’t be too impressed if my friends started ignoring me, putting on the t.v., reading a book, talking to other friends whenever I tried to talk to them. Isn’t this what we do to God? He wants a relationship with us and calls us friends so wants a friendship – us talking and Him talking too. But are we crowding God out?

Hold on, I listen to Christian music. I read Christian books. I read my bible and pray and meditate on Godly things. I attend services, pray with friends and discuss my bible. Surely I am listening to God and involving Him in every area of my life?

In some ways yes, these are all good things to be doing (you might be thinking you need to get a life and you know what, you probably aren’t wrong!) but are they not distractions from pausing and just BEING with God?

I wrote this a few weeks ago. Since, things have got worse. I am now a full-time training ordinand. This entails getting up and doing morning prayer with the community in which I live and work every morning after breakfast at 8.30am and evening prayer every night before dinner at 5.15pm with optional Eucharist on  a Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning at 7.30 am and Compline at 9pm Monday and Wednesday. Not to mention community worship every Tuesday evening, again this is compulsory.

All this is great, but accompanied by busy , long days ,and lots of time with people in the community it leaves little time to just ‘be’ with God. Who would think that training vicars would have less time listening to God than anyone else? Could it be that I am crowding God out more now than I ever did previously?

This topic has really challenged me! I am not pretending to have an answer, but I do wonder what God makes of all this. I think that God loves us and wants to spend time with us, I think this isn’t for His benefit but for our own, so why do we not make time to be with Him? This is my challenge, to fit my time around God not the other way round. Rather than trusting the set prayer, listening to Christian lyrics, reading Christian literature and generally filling my life with ‘good Christian things’. Not that I think any of these things are wrong but instead think I may benefit more from actually spending time with my Father, Creator, councillor and friend. What do you think?

Love and Blessings, Deborah <><

Hello all, 

 I have been reading a book which has had the most peculiar cover. I have seen this cover in numerous book shops, even before I owned the book and for a long time I have thought it was an odd pattern to have on the cover, till now. 

 Let me describe it for you. It is orange and has an odd shaped river running down the middle, odd because it doesn't quite flow as a river should. As the book is about two people who love one another and nothing to do with a river at all you can see my confusion. 

A couple of weeks ago I sat in bed and looked down at this cover. Now bare in mind how long I have seen this cover for. Suddenly, I realised it was the silhouette of two faces, one male and the other female. How much more that makes sense! 

 I stared at the cover for ages, a little like that picture of the old and young women in the same picture. But it depends how you look at it. That's what this was like. As I looked at it the word 'perspective' came to mind. 

How often things are about perspective. We can travel through life sticking with one perspective - our own or we can chose to see things for a different perspective. Sometimes this other perspective can come from listening to others and hearing their perspective, this can broaden our view. Perhaps if someone else had pointed out the silhouette's when looking at the book I would have seen it too. However, by far the best perspective to have is God's. 

 God see's all things and therefore can do what we can't; see things from every perspective. The bible tells us the blind will see and the deaf will hear. (Isaiah 29:19) Yes those who are both physically blind and deaf will be healed, Jesus did those while He was on earth did He not?! But it is also reffering to those who do not see or hear out of choice. However, if we ask God He will enlighten us. We will see things from another perspective. Perhaps a friend is going through a hard time and you can't understand why, ask God to show you, ask Him to help you hear them when they speak to you about it. Perhaps you would like to know what to do next, ask God but also ask Him to help you accept what He shows you. Of course it may be you slimply want to ask to have your eyes opened and to see His hand at work. 

 A little word of warning, God answers our prayers but for His glory NOT ours!!! Bare this in mindp when you are asking and talking to Him. Also, with revelation sometimes comes responsibility so be prepared to respond. However always remember we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. (Philippians 4:13) 

 So with a little change of perspective it is amazing what we will see differently. 

 Love and blessings, and as always please get in touch, leave a comment or let me know what you think it's great to discuss these things not just write about them. But also to pray for and with you, Deborah ><>

A worship offering?

It has been a while since I last blogged but I have decided it is once again time for me to pick up my blogging pen (or keyboard) and start to share some thoughts about how the world and life relates to my journey of faith. The adventure is a continuous one.

Yesterday at church i noticed that a member of the worship group had left their electric guitar on the communion table between the alter candles. Here, i feel, is a symbolic picture of modern church.

Some may have taken offence at the blatant disregard of the symbolic significance of the communion table by putting the guitar on it. However, it made me think. Actually placing the thing which is precious and is used for God's glory in worship on a Sunday morning on the table which stands in place of an alter; a place of sacrifice and offering posed the question; are we willing to do the same? Am i willing to lay the things i treasure on the communion table?

At the same time i was struck by the mix of traditional and modern. Here we have the historical communion table for the celebration of the Eucharist met with the modern way of worship;an electric guitar. Isn't this the ideal way of modern church? Mixing the best of tradition and spiritual significance with modern worship and technology to engage with current society.

What do you think, can we mix modern and old like this? Does it work?
What do we feel called to offer as sacrifices to God and do we actually do it?

Hope this makes you think,
blessings, Deborah ><>

'I have summoned you buy name and you are mine.' Isaiah 43:

Stepping out of you confort zone...again!





The wind whipps my face, rain lashes and i shiver. The sea roars and snaps at the rocks somewhere far bellow. I know there is only one way; forward...

I have come to the conclusion this week, and i appologise if i am repeating myself with this blog, that to move forward requires sacrafice and normally a painful one at that. How many of us stand on the edge of opportunities and see the horror around us and not the potential? Like standing on the edge of that cliff.





God doesn't tell us not to take risks. He doesn't tell us to bottle up our feelings and hide who we are. Let's adapt that picture a little more.....





....warmth oozed from painfilled sears on my arms and legs. A sticky thick substance flowed freely against the sharp freezing, salt fillled air, from the jagged slash on my cheak bone, stinging....





Sometimes we are injured and broken but God know's what He is doing, and although we feel there is nothing other than falling into a pit of doom, God knows what lies ahead and calls us to follow Him.





That is SCARY!!





This week i took, yet another, step of faith and it hurts saying goodbye to hopes and dreams;





...I turned, tears streaming from my eyes. The leather squeeked against my jeans as i moved. I tugged at my seatbelt and the black cab pulled away. Through the narrow mirror i could see what i was leaving behind. He stood there, smashual (smart yet cassual) in appearance. He looked great. His lingering aroma still hung on the edge of my nose. I hated saying goodbye. Memories spun through my mind. Plans we had sat and discussed for years dissapearing before me. I didn't believe it would be the last time i saw him, but right now i needed to take this journey. As i focused on what lay ahead a peace passed over me, then fear and dread, mixed in a toxic excitement. I smiled, this might be the craziest adventure i had taken yet...





Just to clarrify that was just an illustration and this whole thing has nothing to do with men at all in my life!!!





Life is scary and hard but what i believe i have learnt this week is that in order to progress and move on you have to take risks, be vulnerable and be open to paying a price higher than the one you would naturally like. Through this, God produces the most amazing adventure you could possibly have! It's not easy; it's not designed to be, but it is there to be expereinced.





Trust me! Trust me! TRUST ME! God yells and we....

well that's your choice. Daily learn to trust God in new ways, although it is not easy I know God has promised me He is shaping me. Like the sea moving the pebbles on a beach against the grains of sand and smoothing me out.

If you know a little of what i am referring to then i encourage you to keep running the race God has for you. Please share your story with me too and hold to the promises of God. This is the one He reminded me off this moning:

But now, this is what the Lord says -

He who created you, O Jacob,

He who formed you, O Israel,

"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have summoned you buy name and you are mine.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned;

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Holy One of Israel, your Saviour;

I give Egypt for your ransom,

Cush and Seba in your stead.

Since you are precious and honoured in my sight,

and because I love you...

Isaiah 43: 1 - 4

Love and Blessings, Deborah ><>

'Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!' 2 cornth 5:17

Hi there,

I live in York.

I love bubble baths.

I am a special educational needs teaching assistant.

I love people surprising me with things they know I would like.

I am blonde.

I love reading.

These are all facts about me but they don’t make me who I am. They contribute to it. But it is a good thing they don’t make me who I am because who I am is changing.

At this time of year we tend to contemplate new beginnings. It is said more people decide to change eating habits, join gyms and make promises to renew their attitude towards things. I won’t ask you if you have made, kept or broken any new year’s resolutions. However, I do want to encourage you. The bible tells us every day we have the choice to embrace God’s best and fulfil His plan for our lives. When we surrender everything to God we are shaped and He promises to make us into a new creation.

This always helps and encourages me because a) I know anything I can do I need to do with His strength and help and b) actually even if I did nothing and only surrendered to God He would make us new because we had given our lives to Him.

I know that while I was at university God took me on a massive transformation process. Then I was a youth and children’s parish assistant and He again changed, developed and encouraged me. Being a special educational needs TA requires daily adaptability which God teaches me in and having been in Tanzania I know I am not the same person I was when I left. This is scary and difficult because I am not always sure how to address these changes in me. The great thing is God does. He knows He is doing things in and through me and I have to trust Him. I hate to say it but you do too.

I must also say, I hope that I do not get to the end of this year and think of myself being the same as when I started because then I believe I will not have moved forward in who God has created me to be. Do you really want to be all God wants you to be?

I think as I continue to reflect and experience the life God has called me to I will see changes. Are you willing to spend time reflecting and asking God how He sees you? Have you asked Him how He would like you to change or grow this year?

I am not sure I have done these things so I will now sit and do them myself.

As I reconsider the facts at the top of this post I can’t help but wonder whether any of them may have changed by the end of this year...

Please get in touch and thanks for reading,

Love and blessings, Deborah ><>

“...his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him...threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Luke 15:17b

Hi,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

So the culture shock has actually set in.

I woke on Sunday morning to rain pattering off the roof and sleepy eyes. I hadn’t slept properly in days and had lost a few hours as a result of partying the night before. My instincts were to run and hide. My normal reaction when not wanting to face reality and feeling overwhelmed. Instead, I drank tea, put on clothes and went to face my dread; meeting people at church. I was scared by how people might react to having me at home.

What I was not prepared for was how I would react to being home. I had missed it far more than I had ever realised. It emphasised that I was home and that was it, no more Tanzania. What is more the one person I wanted to run up to and give a massive hug to I couldn’t and that was difficult. Then add a couple of people being completely insensitive and you meet an incredibly weepy Deborah who basically could not cope. Thank goodness God can.

I admit right here and now that I am a person who does not like to feel as though she cannot cope, or is not there for people. But I am so completely overwhelmed that I have to admit that I cannot cope at the moment and as a result I am a bit useless. Thank fully people at work have understood and not expected me to be 100%. Unlike me who believes I have no reason to be any different from normal. A dear friend told me yesterday that I need to learn to be kind to myself sometimes and she is completely right! So I am treating myself to watching some programmes, or films, a hot bath and a bit of pampering. I think I deserve that.

What has God been saying about the whole thing?

I walked into church, eventually found a seat somewhere at the back and settled down to listen to the sermon. What was the topic? The prodigal son!!! I couldn’t believe it after reading Vicky’s blog earlier in the week. The preacher spoke on how God welcomes us home and gives us hugs when He does so. Here was God pointing out I was home. Just as God pointed out 5 years ago that CPC was the right church for me, here he was pointing out that church was home. God has never left me and I know that but He did want me to know I could have a hug and relax into Him. After all, God knows how hard I am finding things where others don’t.

As if to confirm it I was listening to some Christian music with the lyrics;

And He is waiting and He is hoping,
Though His eyes are weary, His arms are still open,
And His prayer so softly spoken,
Please come home.

The following day I had a fantastic time catching up with adopted family. I had missed this particular person more than they will ever know, I think. It was as though I had never left. The amazing thing is that she has been to Iringa and understands what I am talking about which is brilliant and also understands the adjustment I am making.

I think the whole time I was there I was experiencing it and pressing on but now I can sit and process all we have gone through.

Yesterday I broached school and faced a training day. It was interesting how staff reacted to me being back. I have missed some of them ever so much. It was quite nice getting my head around things and being in a familiar environment. Then today the kids were back. The little boy I work with was very excited about me being back it was wonderful and I had missed him so much I really just wanted to give him a huge hug and tell him. Both he and another child ran at me (at different points) and gave me a hug when they saw me. I told some of the children a bit about what I have been doing and faced an inquest of questions such as; “Did you see any scary animals over there?” and “When did they start school?” This made for interesting lessons.
Staff at school have been great and really supportive. Now I am facing a new school but another child I know well tomorrow. It will be interesting seeing him and his family again, as well as a colleague and friend after school tomorrow.

Still right now I am taking each day as it comes. Not wanting to rush and not wanting to push myself – I think, and hope, I am learning.

Please feel free to share with me what is happening in your lives,
Much love and blessings, particularly in the year ahead,
Deborah ><>