There are certain defining moments in all of our lives aren’t there? Things which when we face them change the course of history in quite a dramatic way. They leave us shocked, bewildered and reflecting. Sometimes they come on a universal scale and affect us all at the same time, like 9-11 or the tsunami. They are words on our lips which when uttered stir an emotional response we cannot fathom, sometimes they leave us speechless. Other times these defining moments are our own person ones. In these cases others help when they can and love us but mostly we face a new future which is completely unfathomable in our own bubble. No one can really know what it is like in that exact moment in time for us.
How do we deal with this? How do we process it and as Christians how can we relate to God in these situations?
This morning these questions hurled themselves into my face in the form of a defining moment. It wasn’t my defining moment but it almost feels the same. As the white cloudy sky allowed bright patches to filter onto the green fields of Moshi and we commented on how fortunate we were. We being; Andy (driving); Susie (in front passage seat); Grace (in the bumper seat to my left; Rosie (in the child’s car seat to my right); and me (squished in the middle with no arm or leg room). Suddenly everything changed.
Well not everything; the sky remained white with blue patches and the grass remained green and luscious but our focus was whisked away. Susie received a phone call informing us their house was on fire.
Moshi is not remotely near Iringa, where they live. We were miles and miles away. Soon we found out, due to a supposed electrical fault, their study had caught alight followed by their snug and the roof. The damage is extensive but not everything has been burnt – thank God!!! However, they will not be able to return to their home again and as they were due to leave for the UK at the end of December- they will not be able to live there ever again. They have lost some important memorabilia as well as the normality of life here. We have no idea what will happen tomorrow; where we will be – either Iringa or Dar let alone any long term plans.
All this makes me want to scream – this isn’t fair!! Because it’s not. Naturally I want to ask God why this happened but I know God has a plan. I don’t believe the house burning down was caused by God but I do believe He will work it for His glory. God is big enough to deal with my screaming and being upset but am I able to cope with an answer?
It suddenly changes our perspective on everything, partly because everything is unknown and partly because it is such a huge thing to happen.
How did this family react? They cried, they talked, they prayed and they did what we are told to do in the bible; praised God in every situation. Christian songs were blasted from the car stereo and as tears streamed and beautiful countryside passed us we sang lyrics which declared God to have our lives and re-affirmed we wanted to live them for Him.
Wow! I had a lot of respect for this family before but I most certainly do now! Could we all do the same thing? It doesn’t mean they wont ask questions, struggle with their relationship with God later and ask why the whole time but in that particular moment they were giving praise to God at all times (Philippians 4:4), as Paul calls the Philippians to do. Paul doesn’t ask them, or us, to only do it when things are good but at every point in our lives. The Philippians were struggling with worldly things when Paul writes this to them. What is more, Paul himself has been through some awful experiences for his faith – he tells us this in Philippians 3.
This is a defining moment which will continue to challenge us all over the coming months and has changed our little course of history for the rest of our lives. Please pray for the family during this time; it is for them my heart breaks.
Much love and blessings, Deborah ><>
Friday, 4 November 2011
Wednesday, 2 November 2011
A paradigm shift?
The shadows of missionaries linger as we remain at the centre where we have had the conference this week.
The conference finished officially on Friday night and the majority of missionaries flew or drove home early Saturday morning. There are a ‘core’ group of us who remain.
I feel as the shadows of those I have met linger so does the fellowship, laughter, stories and teaching. It is strange to meet and intensely share five days with a group of people and then part, knowing you may never cross paths again – till heaven at least.
As I absorb and reflect I try to move on while staying put. It feels like a paradigm shift.
Today we went to the cinema which was an incredible treat! Yet when we walked out of a cinemax cinema with plush chairs and aircon we walked into a bust Nairobi complex, where beggars asked you for money when going to the car. It was most odd. I guess I had a mini culture shock either way.
One of the things which happened on the conference was groups were sent out to seed projects, although sometimes not referred to as projects as that suggests they get funding in Africa and they don’t. One woman I made friends with told me they had driven from a luxurious area straight into a slum. It had shocked her; the two extremes living on each other’s doorsteps. I couldn’t imagine how I would have dealt with that...the next day I did.
We took the seven children we had in the children’s stuff to an animal orphanage. We enjoyed seeing many animals who had been orphaned and looked after. However, the whole time we were the greatest attraction for the Kenyan school children who had never seen Muzungu’s before. I empathise with those animals a little. I think it was quite hard for the kids, I tried to shield them as much as possible.
After a long but fun day we got in our dalla-dalla to take us back and the driver took us on a ‘short-cut’, you need it in Nairobi traffic. It turned out this track, for it wasn’t a road, took us through the slums. I was surprised at the kids reaction. They live in Tanzania; lots of different areas of Tanzania but still. They were fascinated by the slums, one saying “I think they are worse in India though because they don’t have toilets there.” To which I responded, neither do these people.” Surprise I was asked where they went to the toilet then. How do you explain that to 11 year olds and younger...”well, you see all that mud...and the odd areas between houses.” They got my point. However, they we shocked! Then we drove straight into luxury; my turn to deal with a paradigm shift.
How do you process that? I’m not sure I ever will as it is total injustice but I can’t change everything in the world, I can only allow God to do the best with me where I am at any given time. I pray He does. Also, Africa is moving in western ways while being in a mix of English history with other things. Some things still feel like something from the 18th century, others the 1960’s etc. I have been questioning if this is wrong, has the west had too much of an impact? But I think we were ‘brought into civilisation’ by the Romans and other groups so was that wrong? I think what concerns me is: are we influencing in the right way? I am not sure. For a city to have a shopping mall but many who have no access to water because the systems are not good is a little crazy in my opinion. Let’s hope and pray things move the right way.
Anyway, I’m not sure that amounts to much of a blog but I feel a little lost at the moment and tired after a crazy but wonderfully blessed week.
Please pray God continues to speak to me in this adventure and for all those missionaries returning ‘home’.
As always let me know of anything I can pray for you about.
Love and blessings Deborah ><>
The conference finished officially on Friday night and the majority of missionaries flew or drove home early Saturday morning. There are a ‘core’ group of us who remain.
I feel as the shadows of those I have met linger so does the fellowship, laughter, stories and teaching. It is strange to meet and intensely share five days with a group of people and then part, knowing you may never cross paths again – till heaven at least.
As I absorb and reflect I try to move on while staying put. It feels like a paradigm shift.
Today we went to the cinema which was an incredible treat! Yet when we walked out of a cinemax cinema with plush chairs and aircon we walked into a bust Nairobi complex, where beggars asked you for money when going to the car. It was most odd. I guess I had a mini culture shock either way.
One of the things which happened on the conference was groups were sent out to seed projects, although sometimes not referred to as projects as that suggests they get funding in Africa and they don’t. One woman I made friends with told me they had driven from a luxurious area straight into a slum. It had shocked her; the two extremes living on each other’s doorsteps. I couldn’t imagine how I would have dealt with that...the next day I did.
We took the seven children we had in the children’s stuff to an animal orphanage. We enjoyed seeing many animals who had been orphaned and looked after. However, the whole time we were the greatest attraction for the Kenyan school children who had never seen Muzungu’s before. I empathise with those animals a little. I think it was quite hard for the kids, I tried to shield them as much as possible.
After a long but fun day we got in our dalla-dalla to take us back and the driver took us on a ‘short-cut’, you need it in Nairobi traffic. It turned out this track, for it wasn’t a road, took us through the slums. I was surprised at the kids reaction. They live in Tanzania; lots of different areas of Tanzania but still. They were fascinated by the slums, one saying “I think they are worse in India though because they don’t have toilets there.” To which I responded, neither do these people.” Surprise I was asked where they went to the toilet then. How do you explain that to 11 year olds and younger...”well, you see all that mud...and the odd areas between houses.” They got my point. However, they we shocked! Then we drove straight into luxury; my turn to deal with a paradigm shift.
How do you process that? I’m not sure I ever will as it is total injustice but I can’t change everything in the world, I can only allow God to do the best with me where I am at any given time. I pray He does. Also, Africa is moving in western ways while being in a mix of English history with other things. Some things still feel like something from the 18th century, others the 1960’s etc. I have been questioning if this is wrong, has the west had too much of an impact? But I think we were ‘brought into civilisation’ by the Romans and other groups so was that wrong? I think what concerns me is: are we influencing in the right way? I am not sure. For a city to have a shopping mall but many who have no access to water because the systems are not good is a little crazy in my opinion. Let’s hope and pray things move the right way.
Anyway, I’m not sure that amounts to much of a blog but I feel a little lost at the moment and tired after a crazy but wonderfully blessed week.
Please pray God continues to speak to me in this adventure and for all those missionaries returning ‘home’.
As always let me know of anything I can pray for you about.
Love and blessings Deborah ><>
'I have called You by name and You are Mine...' Isaiah 43:1
Hi there!
Here I am at the CMS Africa conference in Nairobi for a week. It is day three and already I am exhausted!! We have a packed schedule for the children and the adults are not exempt from having a hefty timetable; if they would like. By 9pm yesterday evening I was ready to burst into tears; this job is demanding! Yet we are having great fun.
I am not sure what it is God wants to teach me from being here but He made clear through a couple of songs yesterday that here is exactly where He has planned for me to be.
As I meet mission partners based across Africa I am overwhelmed by the way God uses each of our gifts for His glory. Literally there is someone doing something from youth/children’s work to administration, talking subject we don’t want to deal with in the UK because we feel uncomfortable such as FGM (Female Genital Mutilation), midwifery, doctors and crafts projects for disabled people. I’m not sure there is a profession not represented by 50+ missionaries here. It is amazing to hear their stories, to share in where they are, how long they have been there and are planning to stay there and where they regard as ‘home’ now. Some are families, some are couples, some are single and all at different stages of life. Yet they are all completely normal, well some are a little nutty ;-) but only the best ones.
The thing which has struck me is yes they are all normal but they are people who have said ‘Yes’ to God’s call. At the end of the day that is all we are asked to do. Jesus calls us to take up our cross daily and follow Him. This is an active image of saying ‘yes’ to God’s will in our lives daily.
What are you called to do? Are you doing it?
This is something which is really on my heart and mind while I am here. I believe I have been called to do this, that’s why I am here. It takes a lot to accept God’s call and it certainly pushes you beyond your limits to show you what He can do and what He is willing to answer; for me it includes the little things like; God I really don’t want a cold shower this morning I’m too tired and grumpy to deal with it. But staying in His will and following His calling is certainly better than stepping outside of it I have found! So what is God’s calling on my life?
I have always wanted to teach but that doesn’t make it God’s will that can make it entirely my own. So should I follow that? Or should I pursue entirely what I feel God is calling me to even if I have no idea what the timing might be? It’s a difficult one. It is certainly not a topic I feel comfortable discussing right now but it is making me think and talk to God about it so watch this space...
Meanwhile, I shall endeavour to enjoy the remainder of my few days here in Nairobi and experience the breathtaking sights as we travel back through Tanzania – the view of Kilimanjaro as we drove north was incredible! Sitting at the border for an hour and a half was another experience entirely.
Thank you for your prayers; they mean such a lot!! Please know I am praying for you and miss you all.
Love and Blessings, Deborah ><>
Here I am at the CMS Africa conference in Nairobi for a week. It is day three and already I am exhausted!! We have a packed schedule for the children and the adults are not exempt from having a hefty timetable; if they would like. By 9pm yesterday evening I was ready to burst into tears; this job is demanding! Yet we are having great fun.
I am not sure what it is God wants to teach me from being here but He made clear through a couple of songs yesterday that here is exactly where He has planned for me to be.
As I meet mission partners based across Africa I am overwhelmed by the way God uses each of our gifts for His glory. Literally there is someone doing something from youth/children’s work to administration, talking subject we don’t want to deal with in the UK because we feel uncomfortable such as FGM (Female Genital Mutilation), midwifery, doctors and crafts projects for disabled people. I’m not sure there is a profession not represented by 50+ missionaries here. It is amazing to hear their stories, to share in where they are, how long they have been there and are planning to stay there and where they regard as ‘home’ now. Some are families, some are couples, some are single and all at different stages of life. Yet they are all completely normal, well some are a little nutty ;-) but only the best ones.
The thing which has struck me is yes they are all normal but they are people who have said ‘Yes’ to God’s call. At the end of the day that is all we are asked to do. Jesus calls us to take up our cross daily and follow Him. This is an active image of saying ‘yes’ to God’s will in our lives daily.
What are you called to do? Are you doing it?
This is something which is really on my heart and mind while I am here. I believe I have been called to do this, that’s why I am here. It takes a lot to accept God’s call and it certainly pushes you beyond your limits to show you what He can do and what He is willing to answer; for me it includes the little things like; God I really don’t want a cold shower this morning I’m too tired and grumpy to deal with it. But staying in His will and following His calling is certainly better than stepping outside of it I have found! So what is God’s calling on my life?
I have always wanted to teach but that doesn’t make it God’s will that can make it entirely my own. So should I follow that? Or should I pursue entirely what I feel God is calling me to even if I have no idea what the timing might be? It’s a difficult one. It is certainly not a topic I feel comfortable discussing right now but it is making me think and talk to God about it so watch this space...
Meanwhile, I shall endeavour to enjoy the remainder of my few days here in Nairobi and experience the breathtaking sights as we travel back through Tanzania – the view of Kilimanjaro as we drove north was incredible! Sitting at the border for an hour and a half was another experience entirely.
Thank you for your prayers; they mean such a lot!! Please know I am praying for you and miss you all.
Love and Blessings, Deborah ><>
Sunday, 23 October 2011
'Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?' Jame 3:11 (KJB)
Hi,
Life is certainly bitter sweet here!
I have just spent the last couple of days with a friend in Dar es Salam. She has sadly left and returned home to Australia now as her three month excursion is now at an end. However, we tried to make her last couple of days as special as possible.
We could have decided to splash out and spend our couple of days in Muzungu luxury and i must confess i was tempted but instead we bunked with a couple of the girls whose host family had looked after my friend while she was in Iringa. This was an interesting experience. While the girls were lovely, Christian and great hostesses i had a great shock when on the first night not only did we not have a shower i didn't have a hot bucket of water to wash with either! Dar is incredibly hot and humid so we were STICKY!!! After telling myself to 'man up' and bare it I realised i had forgotten shampoo and clean underwear - what a nightmare! The bitter part was starting to sting. It was not what i wanted to face after a 9 hour bus journey to a very busy city. Then just to rub it in; we had no electricity. I tell you what when you literally have to pray about every little prospect in your life it stretches your prayer muscles.
After an incredibly restless sticky night, accompanied from 6am onwards by load noises and the smell of charcoal i felt quite negative about the day ahead but decided to give it to God. To which He told me the Irks and Burdens in life were a means of showing me His plan and purpose. I should look at them as opportunities, se God's hand in all things and give Joy. Instantly i started to sing, i can't remember which song but i felt my mood lighten. At that moment God answered a plea of my heart; that i could join the Harts in going to the CMS conference in Nairobi this week! God had certainly come through for me; yet again!
What followed was a day of fun and adventure. We went to a beach called Pococo. It had white sand which beautifully reflected the bright blue sea and sky! It was perfect. We watched fishermen catch fish and after about an hours walk, a quick drink and walk back we ate freshly caught fish and chips on the beach; it felt oddly English. Yet at the same time we were eating a fish with its head and tail still attached and pealed it from the bone. No batter in sight. Bitter-sweet.
After our amazing time at the beach the girls wanted to show us their highlight; the supermarket which is in a shopping mall. We tried to explain we have these everywhere at home but they were so proud. We took a bajaji and walked along a very hot dual carriageway to this shopping mall. It had some names we recognised and a cinema. Right at the other end was this supermarket. As my friend and I were cooking the girls a western meal that night we bought the ingredients and decided to buy each an ice-cream too; which was very melted but enjoyable. I also decided to check out the toilets which were very western. During which the power cut out twice; bitter-sweet.
After a long hot but fun day Amanda (my friend and I) tried to cook toasted cheese and tomato sandwiches over a coal stove and made homemade coleslaw. The coleslaw was fine; the toasties a nightmare! They either burnt or didn’t cook at all. After an hour and a half we got there- just! And they said they liked them. Pudding was much easier; melted chocolate over banana – yum! Bitter-sweet.
After a worse night than the one previous; if I didn’t think that was possible I was wrong! We got a bajaji and a dalla-dalla and the girls took us to their university. If I thought that would be boring I was wrong! Again it required walking in heat but when we arrived we were the only white people in the building. The girls proudly showed us their lecture theatres and seminar rooms; very like those at home just more plain. They were delighted when we told them that. The queue for admissions was inspiring. Later Amanda and I commented that we would never show anyone where we went to university, perhaps while we were there but not now. Yet here were two girls who loved to show us where they were educated.
We took a walk past the presidents house; i.e. their white house. Then got on a very busy ferry, which coast all of 4p each! 5 mins later we were on the other side and took a taxi to south beach. Here each beach has a resort attached which means you have to pay something but it goes towards any food or drink you order and you can use the toilets, benches and, as we found, showers on a beautiful, clean, white beach with blue sea and sky. To make it the perfect environment it was surrounded by palm trees. Amanda and I wasted no time in getting into the sea and having a swim before eating some lunch and reading in the sun. We were worried the girls wouldn’t cope with a muzungu esk holiday but they loved it. They got a volley ball and played for hours. They would never have experienced anything like that and neither had we. At the end of a beautiful day Amanda and I enjoyed a shower, cold but a shower! And we watched the sun-set, while being eaten alive by mossies – bitter-sweet.
I have to say I was starting to panic at being out at night when we have been told not to but the girls seemed to think it was ok. Sure enough the boat was crammed with people and the dalla-dalla afterwards. I was surprised Dar’s night life was quite so manic but wasn’t fazed at all by it when we were in the midst of the chaos. Back at home we packed and ate before saying goodnight. Amanda and I chilled for a little while before I dozed off, hot and sticky once again. Bitter-sweet.
3.30am the next morning I gave Amanda a tentative hug (we were both sunburnt) as she headed off to the airport. I will miss her. Three hours later I came back to full consciousness after, yet another bad night, and faced an unknown day of travel. I was to get a bus to chulinsie and sit and wait for Andy and Susie. One of my host girls cooked me omelette and I grabbed the opportunity to have banana and peanut butter again for breakfast. As I contemplated that they had no running water and rarely had electricity, only had a bed and a wardrobe in each bedroom and yet had two huge sofas and an arm chair, a t.v. and speakers in the lounge it seems to me that it is not just I who has an entirely bazaar existence here. Bitter-sweet?
Thankfully my host got me on the right bus and by the Grace of God I was only waiting 20 mins when Andy and Susie found me. They were as relieved as I. Further down the road we met our co-car and I had a changeover of cars; definitely the better option. I got to know the other missionaries a bit better and it turned out the other car had problems, they were delayed by about an hour. All the while we trundled on through picture perfect African landscape and arrived in time to chill a bit before everyone else descended. I was surprised to find I was sharing a room with Rosie and Grace but it has turned out ok. I slept much better and we have a shower. Yes it was supposed to be hot and I had a cold one but it was a shower and I have been able to properly wash my hair for the first time in 5 days. Bitter-sweet?
We have been stuck here all day while the car has been fixed. However, I have seen Mount Kilimanjaro from the ground now as well as the air, been swimming in an outdoor pool, eaten ice-cream and Chinese. Perhaps a bitter-sweet day?
So what is God teaching me through all this? He is good. We all face things we find difficult but with every bitter edge there is a sweet side even if it doesn’t look like it. Ever bitten a lemon? It is immediately sour and as soon as you pull your mouth away you shiver but it tastes sweet in your mouth. This is like life. It is more extreme here I am sure but it is good for all of us to see how far we can be pushed before we crumble and sometimes we need to crumble to totally rely on God; this is a hard lesson to learn.
Please keep praying for me as I try to discern what God is telling me and learn as much as possible from my daily adventures here.
Please let me know if I can pray for you in anyway; please know you are all on my heart and mind anyway and I daily lift you in prayer to Him. Please share your side of the adventure with me.
Love and blessings, Deborah ><>
Life is certainly bitter sweet here!
I have just spent the last couple of days with a friend in Dar es Salam. She has sadly left and returned home to Australia now as her three month excursion is now at an end. However, we tried to make her last couple of days as special as possible.
We could have decided to splash out and spend our couple of days in Muzungu luxury and i must confess i was tempted but instead we bunked with a couple of the girls whose host family had looked after my friend while she was in Iringa. This was an interesting experience. While the girls were lovely, Christian and great hostesses i had a great shock when on the first night not only did we not have a shower i didn't have a hot bucket of water to wash with either! Dar is incredibly hot and humid so we were STICKY!!! After telling myself to 'man up' and bare it I realised i had forgotten shampoo and clean underwear - what a nightmare! The bitter part was starting to sting. It was not what i wanted to face after a 9 hour bus journey to a very busy city. Then just to rub it in; we had no electricity. I tell you what when you literally have to pray about every little prospect in your life it stretches your prayer muscles.
After an incredibly restless sticky night, accompanied from 6am onwards by load noises and the smell of charcoal i felt quite negative about the day ahead but decided to give it to God. To which He told me the Irks and Burdens in life were a means of showing me His plan and purpose. I should look at them as opportunities, se God's hand in all things and give Joy. Instantly i started to sing, i can't remember which song but i felt my mood lighten. At that moment God answered a plea of my heart; that i could join the Harts in going to the CMS conference in Nairobi this week! God had certainly come through for me; yet again!
What followed was a day of fun and adventure. We went to a beach called Pococo. It had white sand which beautifully reflected the bright blue sea and sky! It was perfect. We watched fishermen catch fish and after about an hours walk, a quick drink and walk back we ate freshly caught fish and chips on the beach; it felt oddly English. Yet at the same time we were eating a fish with its head and tail still attached and pealed it from the bone. No batter in sight. Bitter-sweet.
After our amazing time at the beach the girls wanted to show us their highlight; the supermarket which is in a shopping mall. We tried to explain we have these everywhere at home but they were so proud. We took a bajaji and walked along a very hot dual carriageway to this shopping mall. It had some names we recognised and a cinema. Right at the other end was this supermarket. As my friend and I were cooking the girls a western meal that night we bought the ingredients and decided to buy each an ice-cream too; which was very melted but enjoyable. I also decided to check out the toilets which were very western. During which the power cut out twice; bitter-sweet.
After a long hot but fun day Amanda (my friend and I) tried to cook toasted cheese and tomato sandwiches over a coal stove and made homemade coleslaw. The coleslaw was fine; the toasties a nightmare! They either burnt or didn’t cook at all. After an hour and a half we got there- just! And they said they liked them. Pudding was much easier; melted chocolate over banana – yum! Bitter-sweet.
After a worse night than the one previous; if I didn’t think that was possible I was wrong! We got a bajaji and a dalla-dalla and the girls took us to their university. If I thought that would be boring I was wrong! Again it required walking in heat but when we arrived we were the only white people in the building. The girls proudly showed us their lecture theatres and seminar rooms; very like those at home just more plain. They were delighted when we told them that. The queue for admissions was inspiring. Later Amanda and I commented that we would never show anyone where we went to university, perhaps while we were there but not now. Yet here were two girls who loved to show us where they were educated.
We took a walk past the presidents house; i.e. their white house. Then got on a very busy ferry, which coast all of 4p each! 5 mins later we were on the other side and took a taxi to south beach. Here each beach has a resort attached which means you have to pay something but it goes towards any food or drink you order and you can use the toilets, benches and, as we found, showers on a beautiful, clean, white beach with blue sea and sky. To make it the perfect environment it was surrounded by palm trees. Amanda and I wasted no time in getting into the sea and having a swim before eating some lunch and reading in the sun. We were worried the girls wouldn’t cope with a muzungu esk holiday but they loved it. They got a volley ball and played for hours. They would never have experienced anything like that and neither had we. At the end of a beautiful day Amanda and I enjoyed a shower, cold but a shower! And we watched the sun-set, while being eaten alive by mossies – bitter-sweet.
I have to say I was starting to panic at being out at night when we have been told not to but the girls seemed to think it was ok. Sure enough the boat was crammed with people and the dalla-dalla afterwards. I was surprised Dar’s night life was quite so manic but wasn’t fazed at all by it when we were in the midst of the chaos. Back at home we packed and ate before saying goodnight. Amanda and I chilled for a little while before I dozed off, hot and sticky once again. Bitter-sweet.
3.30am the next morning I gave Amanda a tentative hug (we were both sunburnt) as she headed off to the airport. I will miss her. Three hours later I came back to full consciousness after, yet another bad night, and faced an unknown day of travel. I was to get a bus to chulinsie and sit and wait for Andy and Susie. One of my host girls cooked me omelette and I grabbed the opportunity to have banana and peanut butter again for breakfast. As I contemplated that they had no running water and rarely had electricity, only had a bed and a wardrobe in each bedroom and yet had two huge sofas and an arm chair, a t.v. and speakers in the lounge it seems to me that it is not just I who has an entirely bazaar existence here. Bitter-sweet?
Thankfully my host got me on the right bus and by the Grace of God I was only waiting 20 mins when Andy and Susie found me. They were as relieved as I. Further down the road we met our co-car and I had a changeover of cars; definitely the better option. I got to know the other missionaries a bit better and it turned out the other car had problems, they were delayed by about an hour. All the while we trundled on through picture perfect African landscape and arrived in time to chill a bit before everyone else descended. I was surprised to find I was sharing a room with Rosie and Grace but it has turned out ok. I slept much better and we have a shower. Yes it was supposed to be hot and I had a cold one but it was a shower and I have been able to properly wash my hair for the first time in 5 days. Bitter-sweet?
We have been stuck here all day while the car has been fixed. However, I have seen Mount Kilimanjaro from the ground now as well as the air, been swimming in an outdoor pool, eaten ice-cream and Chinese. Perhaps a bitter-sweet day?
So what is God teaching me through all this? He is good. We all face things we find difficult but with every bitter edge there is a sweet side even if it doesn’t look like it. Ever bitten a lemon? It is immediately sour and as soon as you pull your mouth away you shiver but it tastes sweet in your mouth. This is like life. It is more extreme here I am sure but it is good for all of us to see how far we can be pushed before we crumble and sometimes we need to crumble to totally rely on God; this is a hard lesson to learn.
Please keep praying for me as I try to discern what God is telling me and learn as much as possible from my daily adventures here.
Please let me know if I can pray for you in anyway; please know you are all on my heart and mind anyway and I daily lift you in prayer to Him. Please share your side of the adventure with me.
Love and blessings, Deborah ><>
Thursday, 13 October 2011
‘I tell you the truth anyone who does not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will not enter it.’ (Mark 10:15)
I wonder how many of you like to play on swings? Run and jump into a big pool of water? Paint with your hands? Sing and dance freely?...secretly?
I sat on a tyre swing in glorious Tanzanian sunshine ‘working’ on Saturday afternoon. There are very few parks or play areas in Tanzania so the little girl I work with loves them whenever she can. Now I have to say it was really taxing to have to play with her on the slide, swings, help her jump from one tree stump to another in a circle, hold her as she swung across monkey bars and climbed carved thin tree stumps – I am being sarcastic! As I had been ordered to swing on the tyre swing next to her (these were no normal tyre swings they were AMAZING normally I can’t stay in one but these had been hollowed out) I realised I love being child like. I enjoy playing and being silly. I love being on swings and sliding down slides. It made me think; is it just me?
Jesus says to bring all the little children to Him (Matt 19:13) and then calls us to be like children. I wonder how many of us actually allow ourselves to do this? Are we secure enough in ourselves to not care what others think and jump in and enjoy life? Honestly, I am not. I care a lot what others think. The thing is you gain no respect from children if you are not willing to join in with them. This requires you to get dirty, look stupid sometimes and not care what the adults around you think. A few months ago I walked into the nursery I was working in and the children decided to cover me in stickers. These were Christmas stickers, despite it being June. I let them. 38 (yes I counted them) stickers later I looked impressive. Like a massive Christmas card. I spent the whole day like that. Why? Because those kids laughed and laughed and what did it really matter? At other times I have danced to children’s music and the little girl I work with now loves pulling silly faces so if that’s what it takes that is what I will do to cheer her up. Do I care? Yes! Of course I care but the question is should I?
God has been encouraging me for a while to be child-like. He has called us to enjoy life and live it to the full. Are we? That doesn’t always mean being serious, sometimes it means sitting on a swing and enjoying the freedom. Sometimes it means dancing and looking silly. God wants us to come to him as children. Now I may have a great excuse at times but what I really want is to be able to continue even when the children I work with are not around. Fancy joining me? Perhaps this is more of a warning for any of you when you are around me in future... ;-)
Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement, you are in my thoughts and prayers. How I love being part of the body of Christ!
Please let me know of any prayer requests you have.
Love and blessings,
Debbie ><>
Saturday, 8 October 2011
‘...think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you.’ (Romans 12: 3)
If I thought this would be an easy adventure I was wrong. However, I am reminded as I write this that there are daily challenges and uncomfortable aspects of living everywhere. Some challenge us more than others. Today I participated in a must activity; all of you should try it. I washed my clothes by hand. Can I just admit that I was never expecting it to be as hard work or gruelling as I found it. For a person who already suffers with a bad back I found it agony, having said that I also found it truly humbling, as I am finding every experience here. I am already looking forward to the pleasures of using a washing machine when I return to the UK at Christmas.
I have limited clothing and therefore can not change outfits as often as I would if I were living and working at home. I am already looking forward to the pleasure of new work clothes when I return to the UK though. I also am facing the humility of washing from a bucket and not having an upright shower, something I am praying will change soon.
I am experiencing food I would not naturally choose to eat on a daily basis. Some which I like and will definitely try to incorporate into life when I return, others I struggled to consume enough off as to not cause offence.
Through all this God is showing me the person He has created me to be. One element of my personality is I am determined. This is something we can see as a negative thing in English society, I believe. However, I have found this to be an asset. It means I will push myself to achieve things I believe to be worth it but also I will preserver to prove a point. When you work with SEN (Special Educational Needs) children you have to be pretty determined because they are and if you believe what you are doing is going to be an asset to them and are not determined you are letting them, their parents, other family members and work colleagues down. I am also a fine detail person. Something the teacher I am working alongside was laughing at yesterday as I was finishing a poster off for her, by hand as we had electricity. She admitted it wasn’t a bad thing it just made her laugh. It is true I am a fine detail person in so many areas of life. It means that I am always taking on way more information than other people but at the same time I am retaining information which is important to people which others would forget. This can be a negative because I can get so caught up in the small things that I forget to look at God’s bigger picture but I trust He will keep re-aligning my thought process.
These are just some of the trails this adventure is bringing to light. Let’s see what else God has in store.
Thanks for your prayers and love, knowing I am receiving these is what keeps me going and God reminds me off it daily.
Please let me know any prayer requests, believe me you are even more so on my heart and mind now than ever,
Love Debbie ><>
‘Go into all the world’ Mark 16:15.
I am here!! In fact I have been here for a week and a half. I can’t believe it.
I have been at school with the little girl I am supporting for the last week. Things seem to be going well and I feel we are making good progress already. I have gone in in my true hard handed style and decided she will not come in for break when she wants to but when everyone else does, i.e. when the bell goes. So on Monday I employed a ‘if you don’t come in when Debbie says, i.e. when the bell goes’ tactic then a) I’ll ignore you and b) you will get a time out. Two time outs two days running and the following two days we have had no time outs. The problem is that it takes the other children in her class longer than us now to come back to class. Still, it is good practice for when she returns to England in January.
We are in a class of 5 children. Sounds ideal right? Wrong! You should meet our kids. They have such an attention seeking attitude, which probably isn’t helped by the fact they can gain one-on-one attention from the teacher, and me. They will have to learn, never-the-less I wonder whether they would learn faster if there were more children in the class. I never thought small class sizes could be a problem. I have been proven wrong! Although, the nosie in the class is considerably smaller than that of those I teach in the UK that is for sure. Also, I recon being in separate buildings and not needing corridors between classrooms probably helps too as it means the noise of other classes is more confined. The downside probably is that you feel more separated from the other classes, having said that you can find that in English schools too.
The school doesn’t have a hall. Assembly takes place near the staffroom, which is more like a small corridor with a couple of small tables holding a computer and the microwave/hot drinks selection. At one end is a small sink area. There is hardly any sitting space because everyone has breaks at different points and mostly sit in the outside area, which is covered but staff like to sit on the wall. It is this raised area which is used as a stage on a Monday morning for weekly assembly. Assembly is led by one of the classes and takes a rotation every 6 weeks or so. Parents are welcome to join if they wish.
There are similarities to how the school is run in comparison to English schools, at the same time there is that un-written chilled out African attitude which says ‘we will understand if you are slightly late’. Still there is an understanding of Western principals because it is an international school. There are certain protocols which you would have to adhere to in English schools which are also followed here, such as obtaining permission for each child to have their photo taken when in school. Also staff are expected to arrive in time to greet pupils and parents, if necessary.
The children do not line up to come into class, however as they move between classrooms or at the end of the day they do. Also, there are guards and, as in the UK, children can only leave school premises accompanied by an adult known to the school.
Other than school my life here in Tanzania has been somewhat limited so far. So much time is required focusing on the child I am supporting both in school and out, until her parents are available. Throw in a couple of unexpected afternoons at party’s for school friends and after school play-dates and you have lost more time than you realise just being around other muzungu’s. However, m understanding of different cultures and countries is definitely improving as I get to know a real mix of people from the school. Dutch, finish, Itallian, south African, Austrailian, American, etc. The list is endless, then there are the Tanzanian, arabs etc too.
Although based on the Cambridge IBS, the school holds mostly American teachers, and therefore I am accumulating a lot of Americanisms such as; principal, Eraser, etc.
I would like to say that they are lovely teachers and have been so welcoming and inclusive of me. We all went ‘hiking’ last Saturday which was more like rock climbing than actual hiking. We were out for 4 hours in African heat and none of us thought to sun cream our necks; we are all pealing now :-s It was hard work but well worth the attempt, although I am not convinced how great it was in a skirt but as that was what I was told to bring I followed instructions; I am not sure I would recommend doing that again!
Another fable I can dismiss is that you don’t get colds in Africa – I can prove this wrong as I sit harbouring a cold and sniffling!! This has added to my finding it hard to adapt to life here. I have cried many a tear already and am missing people I love at home. You are all very much on my heart and in my mind. I pray for you all daily and know although I do not know the exact details of what your life entails God does and even if I was with you I could not improve things from what they are. I know God is in control and is protecting me as well as you- sniffles (in any variety or not).
I am so blessed to have a wonderful adopted family over here. Susie is taking particular care of me and I know God has brought us together for a greater purpose.
So let’s see what the next part of the adventure holds.
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