Cars, planes and trains...."Wear your traveling clothes...as though prepared for a long journey..." Ex 12:11

So I have returned to York. How odd it feels and yet there is something wonderfully exciting about being home.

I don’t think I ever envisaged this part of the journey. I have looked forward to seeing people I love dearly again but I didn’t actually ever process how it might feel to be in York again. In some ways it feels like I have never left yet I long for the differences to confirm it is not only me who has changed. I must confess I am also scared. What if I bump into someone I know and I have no idea how to react to them. To be honest, a part of me wants to run away. It sounds odd but that is how I process things; to run and hide for a while. Another part of me begs time to stop while I figure out what it is that is happening within my heart and mind but instead time feels as though it passes quicker in England than it did in Tanzania – a feeling I, quite frankly, hate!

Yesterday I boarded my usual two trains and the underground before getting back to York, where I was met by a dear friend whom I am staying with for the weekend. How wonderful it is to catch up with him and his wife! So although there was no plane yesterday it has taken me trains, buses, cars and planes to eventually be back.

Yesterday London was wet, heaving and generally my worst possible travel conditions. God was faithful and led me where I needed to be and there were some lovely people travelling. Something I have discovered since being back is if you are willing to be friendly 90% of people are willing, at least, to smile back. The problem is wanting to make the effort in the first place. Particularly as it seems everyone is pushing to get what is best for them at that particular time but we are called to shine like stars as Christians, are we not? And sometimes that requires us not to do what everyone else is doing, or what seems natural and push our way to the best position. Rather, we should offer it up. That is hard! I am telling you. But sometimes it requires only that we smile, make small talk with people and be polite that in itself can be enough to brighten anyone’s day.

As you are all aware it is new years eve. I love New Year (or Hogmanay and we refer to it in our house) as I offers some time of reflection over the last year and as I take the next step into the year ahead it is good to see the journey I have undertaken with God. It enables me to see His provision in my life and fill me with a new hope for the year ahead. I am always surprised by how much God seems to have filled in my life in a year and how unexpected most of it has been – some of it good, some not so great but all the adventure I took through choice but also through God’s define provision and abundant grace. How grateful I am to share this journey with Him, and most certainly all of you!

This new year’s eve I am doing something quite different. I have always celebrated previous years with my family and then friends, if we were joining them. This year however marks the momentous occasion where I solely celebrate with friends here in York. It wasn’t that I had particularly planned it but simply that it made more sense to be here now rather than try and travel on Monday. As I read my diary I flicked back to find that I had travelled out of York on August 30th and here I was returning on December 30th through no intention of my own – that’s God for you! So I don’t believe this was my planning and I think that it probably is a good representation of what God has been doing in me over the last year.

Anyway, this will be my last blog of this year. I wish you a very Happy, Blessed and Joyful New Year! Thank you for sharing the adventures we have had this year and I look forward to stepping into and sharing the adventures we will have in 2012. See you on the other side...journeying in ways other than cars, trains and aeroplanes...although we might do that as well.

Love and Blessings, Deborah ><>

'For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given...' Isaiah 9:6

Hi, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and I know for several of us we are still enjoying the holidays (for a few more days at least).

As my mother says every year; “Well that’s it for another year.” So what have you gained from the Christmas period?

I love advent. Yes I love Christmas but I have to say advent is my favourite. The run up to Christmas gives me space to ponder why I am celebrating this festival and focus on God. Every year I ask Him to teach me something new from the Christmas period because I believe there is so much in this story which we can learn, with God’s help. However, this year I found I couldn’t ask Him to teach me something new. I am not sure why this is but I think it might have something to do with spending the first three weeks of advent in a hot climate in somewhere which I found it difficult to connect with Christmas. In addition to this I find my mind is half in that world still and thus I can hardly believe Christmas was celebrated. So it has been a struggle to accept my physical surroundings let alone ponder the Christmas story and see what God has to teach me this year.

Having said that, I was reading Vicky Beeching’s (Christian music and song writer) blog on boxing. She was looking at the Christmas message in association with the prodigal son and I found that an interesting comparison. I gained so much from another’s insights that I couldn’t help but wonder whether you had learnt anything this year?

I have been taking daily walks for the last week for about an hour at a time. I was out in the beautiful kent countryside yesterday afternoon and was talking to God. I will be honest I love York but I am struggling with the concept of returning in two days time (the horses in the field next to me must have thought I was going mad). I was being honest with God about the whole thing. As we were talking I found myself bringing up the topic of Christmas and my sadness at not having learnt anything new. As I talked to Him about it I realised that something I think is wonderful about the Christmas story is how God provides. He is present in all the little things. He doesn’t leave Joseph to grapple with whether to leave Mary or stay, although I think He did give Joseph the time to grapple for a while, but instead sent and angel to Him also. He involved some unsuspecting shepherds. He told the wise men to go home a different route and sent Mary and Joseph to Egypt. He was present in the little things. Although I am sure we would agree we would have preferred better accommodation than a stable, and let’s face it if God is God he could have arranged it, that it was His perfect plan. Did Mary and Joseph complain? I don’t know, it’s not recorded if they did but I bet they were just relieved to have somewhere to stay and how many of us have been in situations and wanted something better yet at the same time been relieved it wasn’t worse? I know I have (a lot recently). He picked the one person who could relate to Mary’s situation to be a relation; her cousin Elizabeth. God is in the little things. What is more, this is the case for us today too. If we let Him God will be in every little thing. I have experienced that hugely over the last few months. I am grateful that I no longer have to pray for water on a regular basis but did God object to me asking? I don’t think so and did He answer and provide Yes He did because He loves us and enjoys being involved in every aspect of our lives.

So can I encourage you to ask God to speak into the little things in your lives? Also, please share anything you have been learning this Christmas in the comments section bellow.

Thanks. Much love and Blessings and I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and have some brilliant new year celebrations this weekend. Deborah ><>

'One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.' Jane Austen, Emma

Hi all,

So i have been home two whole weeks! I can hardly believe it! What is more it was christmas at the weekend and that is the most bazzar concept i can fathom. But HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

These weeks feel as though they have passed rather quickly. During this time I have; washed clothes (in a washing machine!!!!!!!); sang christmas carols; wrapped christmas prezzies; helped break a world record with 17,000 people in the UK; watch the church nativity; baked; shopped and much more.

I think i am adapting back into being in the UK fairly well. I haven't had any freek out's thus far and i have been in several shopping centres already. Perhaps it is because i am keeping busy, when you have a dad who is a minister you are always busy at this time of the year. Perhaps it is an answer to all your prayers. Perhaps it's because it feels as though nothing has changed...however that is where i am struggling a bit. You see i expected things to have changed. In some ways they have but in others my brain is struggling to process what it has absorbed over the last three months while life has been continuing here.

One thing i have notcied is a slight change within myself. I was walking through one of those shopping centre's i mentioned and found that i wanted to smile at everyone i met. In addition to that i want to talk to every shop worker i am being served by. Not to be nosey, not to be 'sociable' but because i genuinely want to brighten up their day. I want Christ to reach through me and touch them. Although i wanted this before for some reason it feels easier now and i am not sure why, perhaps it is my shear delight at being home...? I'm not sharing this with you because i want to sound good or christian but because i want to be honest about my whole expereince.

I have also found that i have been presumptious and judgemental regarding the english people. I presumed when i returned i would find it hard because no-one would interact with me but on the same shopping trip, not only did i find myself reacting oddly but, i had three different conversations with serval people in groups, cuplets or individually. It was great! I love talking to people - you all know that! But this was beyond what i was used to and it was lovely.

I would love to know what God is teaching me through all this perhaps one day i will know and perhaps i will never know. Time here certainly moves a lot faster than in Tanzania and i know my perception on how things were has already been completely tainted because I am now surrounded by familurarity. Never underestimate the feeling of comfort which comes from the little things; people wearing clothes you would expect and acknowledge them to wear; black tarmac on roads with central reservations and cows standing in feilds not just walking up the middle of the road; christmas trees in windows; hot water; kettles and washing machines; etc.

I must admit i fear loosing what i knew and understood during my time in Tanzania. However, i trust God will continue to teach and show me things which i can't predict nor forsee. In the meantime i will keep sharing.

Love and blessings, Deborah ><>

For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Matt 18:20

"The enemy knows that we are more vulnerable when we are removed from our support systems. All too often that is when believers get themselves into trouble. Vulnerability to others leads to strength." Rebecca St James

So we are back in the UK!!

It was a crazy last few weeks. Firstly my computer died after a power surge and therefore i had little to no connection to the internet, hence not being able to write a blog. Then i got incredibly poorly through my doxicycline getting stuck in my esophogus. After a 6 days of pain every time i swallowed food or drink, one night of excruciating pain where lieing and and swallowing saliva was agony, and an inspection from a retired doctor it was decided i should see a doctor in Dar Es Salam. Turn out Doxicyclin has an acid external coating which when stuck in your esophegus can cause ulceration. As it was uncertain that they would be able to help me in Dar i was told i had to pack up all my things and plan for returning to the UK a week and a half before i was due to leave. Faced with a potential few hours left in Iringa I said goodbye to as many people as i could and headed to my, potentially last, bible study group which i had joined while i was there. At this group I was sat in the middle of a circle and prayed for. I also let people know at home i needed prayer and they promised me they were praying.

The next day i got on a bus and headed on a 9 hour journey to Dar. It was aweful drinking let alone eating anything. We arrived in Dar to find out the machine we needed to check my esophogus was in one particular hospital and the person who knew how to work it had died the year before. I just thought 'that's it, i'm going home to England as there is no point me going to Nairobi to see someone. The next mornig i got out of bed and had a cup of tea...it idn't hurt!! I had breakfast and with every swallow i waited and...it didn't hurt! Coincidence? Perhaps but for me that is a bit too big a coincidence.

We went to the hospital anyway and saw a general doctor who said if i was making progress it sounded as though i would be ok but prescribed something incase it got worse again. The next day i took the bus back to Iringa and enjoyed my last week in town and week and a half in Tanzania. It might be a coincidence in some people's eyes but i believe it was an answer to prayer and because people loved and supported me in this powerful way.

Back in Iringa I enjoyed a last day at school, served at Neema and celebrated proper goodbyes. Then we got on a bus and travelled back to Dar before heading on two minibuses and a taxi to the airport on tuesday morning.

Now i am home and trying to absorb all that has happened. I sat on the airoplane and thought 'gosh that really all happened!'. For three months nothing has been predictable or known and now i am surrounded by familiar surroundings it feels like some strange comma i was in. Yet i have scars and marks to show for the time missing. Part of the marks include those left by people i met and love in Iringa. Others are from those here who i left behind.

One thing i learnt while i was there was that in order to build relationships in a constantly changing community you have to be vulnerable and jump right in. I tried to do this. The truth is this leads to hurt and pain but the other option is never fitting in, never making an impact and not fulfilling the role God has for you to do. It hurts!!! But gosh is the pain worth it!!

The quote i have today is from a Christian Song writer and artist Rebecca St James. This is a woman of God who is a real inspirtation to me.

I was removed from all my support systems physically when i left for Africa but God was with me. he provided new support systems and gave me the choice to accept or decline them. Now i am home and hurting it would be easy for me to say 'why did i even bother?' but i praise God that He gave me those relationship, even as i was sitting on the bus to Dar on Sunday morning bawling my eyes out i praise Him for the opportunity to meet and build the relationships i have. They have been so imcredibly important to me and i believe it was because of their prayers that i was healed and could return to Iringa for one last week. They stood be side me and cried on God for healing.

Of course it wasn't and hasn't been just them who have supported me. Each of you have been praying and supporting me through e-mails and facebook messages, reading this blog, comments etc. I have never once forgotten how much love and support i have received from you all and continue to do so. It is because of you that I have been protected and had strength. So Thank You!!

I will continue to keep you updated as i walk through this continnuing adventure now i have returned to the UK.

Thank you again, all my love and prayers, Deborah ><>

‘For such a time as this.’ Esther 4:14

Have you ever experienced a day when you thought ‘this is it: I feel fulfilled, content and invigorated’?

That is how I have felt nearly every day this week which is incredible!! Why? I am not entirely sure but I have a suspicion it is nothing to do with me and more to do with my best friend and Lord of the universe.

Firstly, let me make the point that it is not that it has been an easy week or that every day I haven’t faced challenges – particularly in the form of living in African culture. Let me paint you a part of the picture which my week has included;

Every day I have woken and faced the question of how I slept; I have had less than a week’s worth of good sleep since I arrive in Tanzania – not good when you’ve been here 2 months – yep that is right months! I wondered what it would feel like to be at this point; now I am facing it.

Every day I have started work at 8am and finished no later than 2pm. Then I have either gone to Neema for lunch and a chill out before doing something Katy and Ben (the new managers at Neema) have needed me to do- I was on stock room organising and clearing this week; not exactly the most glamorous job I can tell you. Then I have wandered home or seen friends.

Every day I have been approached by Africans either declaring their love for me in Kiswahili (great for the ego if it didn’t freak me out so much), or telling me I am beautiful and trying to touch either my skin or hair or both. Another encounter included being asked if I worked at the international school and would I pass on a letter to a friend of hers who went there – 15 year olds eh?!

At school; I have had money stolen out of my purse from in my classroom (for the 4th time), I have helped teach our 5 P1’s because their teacher has been on a conference this week – frustrating at times I can tell you.

All these things have been tainted by blessings beyond anything I could ask or imagine; seeing a chameleon at school and the children’s reaction (e.g. naming it Steve with squeals of joy); teaching outside; meeting the audiologist who visits twice a year and learning how to make ear-moulds by hand for hearing aids then talking about deaf culture; conversations with friends and times of sharing; time with God being challenged and fed.

I must confess my first instinct was to say that things felt right because they were finally going in a way I was comfortable with; I had a routine and was doing what I had thought I would be doing all along.

Let’s face it we all know life is hard and full of challenges but this week I believe has felt ‘right’, I believe, because every day I have placed the day before me in God’s hands. Not because I am ‘religious’ or a ‘good Christian’, in fact lately I have felt so far from either of those statements being true, but because I know I literally cannot face the day without God. And Him being faithful has provided abundantly daily.

Another thing I want to point out is this feeling ‘right’ has come with sacrifice. It is only when I gave up everything and acknowledged that nothing I have is mine; not money, not strength; not knowledge; not love; not my body- NOTHING!! That I had a peace and joy beyond all understanding in everything. I believe that is how God works. He requires our all and in return, with our hands open, He fills to overflowing.

I chose the bible passage ‘for such a time as this’ because I have come to accept that is why God has called me here. Just as Esther was called to be queen ‘for such a time as this’, I have been called to Tanzania, to Iringa ‘for such a time as this’. Don’t know why, perhaps I never will, but it strikes me that nothing about Esther’s reign is recorded after that point. She took a step of faith and trusted God. I am sure that made an impact on the rest of her life as well as the Jew’s but we don’t find out how. We also don’t find out why she was chosen by God all we do know is that she said Yes to God.

So whatever the reason, whatever the plan, I am saying yes to God and asking as my brothers and sisters in Christ you stand as witnesses with me in this.

Thank you for continuing this adventure with me. Let me join you in your adventure; please continue to ask for prayers. I have certainly been reminded this week that sometimes we need other members of the body of Christ to hear on our behalf.

Love and blessings, Deborah ><>

"Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Matt 8:20

Burnt earth and countryside imposes itself upon us as we drive through Tanzania. Here the people burn the surrounding hills before replanting. The problem with this ‘purification’ of the land is that it doesn’t work and it has a negative effect on the environment.

“I hate fire.” mutters the ten year old next to me as we drive through this destroyed environment. “It’s not good for anything.” I try to explain that it is good for warmth, cooking etc but she denies it. And I don’t blame her; why would you accept anything good from the thing which has just changed your existence and you have always known it?

This landscape is a sudden reminder of what we are driving home to face; a burnt existence, ashes remaining of a family’s life as they knew it only two weeks ago.

As we drive through the burnt rolling hills we have to exclaim “Isn’t it stunning!” And it is. The smoke rolls up off the hills and the sun shines through the smog, remaining greenery gleams in exuberant contrast to its smouldered surroundings. It is absolutely beautiful.

This all makes me wonder; what do we classify as home? Is it the physical place where our belongings are? Or where we have the most memories? Is it where our loved ones are? Or where we are placed for the time being?

Technically I guess you could argue that Iringa is my home at the moment, while I am in Tanzania. It is where I am mostly based. However, actually my home is in the UK but even there it is questionable as to where home is for me there.

Last night as I prepared to leave yet another place of residence before completing the last leg of our mini-adventure, inside this great big one I am having. I realised there was part of me dreading going back to Iringa and part of me excited about the prospect and instantly my brain acknowledged it as home. Why I am not sure but it did. It is a muddled feeling to think of it in this way, yet it feels quite peaceful.

But for the Harts will Iringa ever feel like home again? I’m not sure. We will explore this concept more over the coming weeks I feel.

In Matthew Jesus tells the disciples that foxes have homes and birds have nests but the son of man has no-where to rest our head. In Philippians 3:20 Paul tells us that heaven is our home. So is it any wonder we struggle sometimes to define a home on earth?

As an individual who has moved house many times this is an area of conversation I have with my parents regularly; do we have a home as such? In some ways no and, in others, yes. Many times we have been brought back to these bible passages.

One thing which is apparent is that there is ‘stunning’ beauty in everything- even the most burnt, blackened existences. May I be so cheesy as to say; especially when the son shines through?

Even now in the heartbreak and trauma of a burnt lost home God has provided in the most amazing and superb ways; the way only He can! Particularly in the form of good friends – I feel so blessed to have you!

As we drive towards Iringa smoke filling our eyes, so they sting, and our noses, seeing locals burning the land, I wait in trepidation for what God has in store for us now. Holding on to the promise that one day those of us who know Jesus will be home eternally. What a great day that will be!

Later we had a conversation in the car which included where home was for the Hart’s.

Thanks for your love and prayers,

As always please let me know any prayer requests you have.

Love and Blessings, Deborah ><>

'...Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.' (Psalm 30:5)

There are certain defining moments in all of our lives aren’t there? Things which when we face them change the course of history in quite a dramatic way. They leave us shocked, bewildered and reflecting. Sometimes they come on a universal scale and affect us all at the same time, like 9-11 or the tsunami. They are words on our lips which when uttered stir an emotional response we cannot fathom, sometimes they leave us speechless. Other times these defining moments are our own person ones. In these cases others help when they can and love us but mostly we face a new future which is completely unfathomable in our own bubble. No one can really know what it is like in that exact moment in time for us.

How do we deal with this? How do we process it and as Christians how can we relate to God in these situations?

This morning these questions hurled themselves into my face in the form of a defining moment. It wasn’t my defining moment but it almost feels the same. As the white cloudy sky allowed bright patches to filter onto the green fields of Moshi and we commented on how fortunate we were. We being; Andy (driving); Susie (in front passage seat); Grace (in the bumper seat to my left; Rosie (in the child’s car seat to my right); and me (squished in the middle with no arm or leg room). Suddenly everything changed.

Well not everything; the sky remained white with blue patches and the grass remained green and luscious but our focus was whisked away. Susie received a phone call informing us their house was on fire.

Moshi is not remotely near Iringa, where they live. We were miles and miles away. Soon we found out, due to a supposed electrical fault, their study had caught alight followed by their snug and the roof. The damage is extensive but not everything has been burnt – thank God!!! However, they will not be able to return to their home again and as they were due to leave for the UK at the end of December- they will not be able to live there ever again. They have lost some important memorabilia as well as the normality of life here. We have no idea what will happen tomorrow; where we will be – either Iringa or Dar let alone any long term plans.

All this makes me want to scream – this isn’t fair!! Because it’s not. Naturally I want to ask God why this happened but I know God has a plan. I don’t believe the house burning down was caused by God but I do believe He will work it for His glory. God is big enough to deal with my screaming and being upset but am I able to cope with an answer?

It suddenly changes our perspective on everything, partly because everything is unknown and partly because it is such a huge thing to happen.

How did this family react? They cried, they talked, they prayed and they did what we are told to do in the bible; praised God in every situation. Christian songs were blasted from the car stereo and as tears streamed and beautiful countryside passed us we sang lyrics which declared God to have our lives and re-affirmed we wanted to live them for Him.

Wow! I had a lot of respect for this family before but I most certainly do now! Could we all do the same thing? It doesn’t mean they wont ask questions, struggle with their relationship with God later and ask why the whole time but in that particular moment they were giving praise to God at all times (Philippians 4:4), as Paul calls the Philippians to do. Paul doesn’t ask them, or us, to only do it when things are good but at every point in our lives. The Philippians were struggling with worldly things when Paul writes this to them. What is more, Paul himself has been through some awful experiences for his faith – he tells us this in Philippians 3.

This is a defining moment which will continue to challenge us all over the coming months and has changed our little course of history for the rest of our lives. Please pray for the family during this time; it is for them my heart breaks.

Much love and blessings, Deborah ><>