‘For such a time as this.’ Esther 4:14

Have you ever experienced a day when you thought ‘this is it: I feel fulfilled, content and invigorated’?

That is how I have felt nearly every day this week which is incredible!! Why? I am not entirely sure but I have a suspicion it is nothing to do with me and more to do with my best friend and Lord of the universe.

Firstly, let me make the point that it is not that it has been an easy week or that every day I haven’t faced challenges – particularly in the form of living in African culture. Let me paint you a part of the picture which my week has included;

Every day I have woken and faced the question of how I slept; I have had less than a week’s worth of good sleep since I arrive in Tanzania – not good when you’ve been here 2 months – yep that is right months! I wondered what it would feel like to be at this point; now I am facing it.

Every day I have started work at 8am and finished no later than 2pm. Then I have either gone to Neema for lunch and a chill out before doing something Katy and Ben (the new managers at Neema) have needed me to do- I was on stock room organising and clearing this week; not exactly the most glamorous job I can tell you. Then I have wandered home or seen friends.

Every day I have been approached by Africans either declaring their love for me in Kiswahili (great for the ego if it didn’t freak me out so much), or telling me I am beautiful and trying to touch either my skin or hair or both. Another encounter included being asked if I worked at the international school and would I pass on a letter to a friend of hers who went there – 15 year olds eh?!

At school; I have had money stolen out of my purse from in my classroom (for the 4th time), I have helped teach our 5 P1’s because their teacher has been on a conference this week – frustrating at times I can tell you.

All these things have been tainted by blessings beyond anything I could ask or imagine; seeing a chameleon at school and the children’s reaction (e.g. naming it Steve with squeals of joy); teaching outside; meeting the audiologist who visits twice a year and learning how to make ear-moulds by hand for hearing aids then talking about deaf culture; conversations with friends and times of sharing; time with God being challenged and fed.

I must confess my first instinct was to say that things felt right because they were finally going in a way I was comfortable with; I had a routine and was doing what I had thought I would be doing all along.

Let’s face it we all know life is hard and full of challenges but this week I believe has felt ‘right’, I believe, because every day I have placed the day before me in God’s hands. Not because I am ‘religious’ or a ‘good Christian’, in fact lately I have felt so far from either of those statements being true, but because I know I literally cannot face the day without God. And Him being faithful has provided abundantly daily.

Another thing I want to point out is this feeling ‘right’ has come with sacrifice. It is only when I gave up everything and acknowledged that nothing I have is mine; not money, not strength; not knowledge; not love; not my body- NOTHING!! That I had a peace and joy beyond all understanding in everything. I believe that is how God works. He requires our all and in return, with our hands open, He fills to overflowing.

I chose the bible passage ‘for such a time as this’ because I have come to accept that is why God has called me here. Just as Esther was called to be queen ‘for such a time as this’, I have been called to Tanzania, to Iringa ‘for such a time as this’. Don’t know why, perhaps I never will, but it strikes me that nothing about Esther’s reign is recorded after that point. She took a step of faith and trusted God. I am sure that made an impact on the rest of her life as well as the Jew’s but we don’t find out how. We also don’t find out why she was chosen by God all we do know is that she said Yes to God.

So whatever the reason, whatever the plan, I am saying yes to God and asking as my brothers and sisters in Christ you stand as witnesses with me in this.

Thank you for continuing this adventure with me. Let me join you in your adventure; please continue to ask for prayers. I have certainly been reminded this week that sometimes we need other members of the body of Christ to hear on our behalf.

Love and blessings, Deborah ><>