'One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.' Jane Austen, Emma

Hi all,

So i have been home two whole weeks! I can hardly believe it! What is more it was christmas at the weekend and that is the most bazzar concept i can fathom. But HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

These weeks feel as though they have passed rather quickly. During this time I have; washed clothes (in a washing machine!!!!!!!); sang christmas carols; wrapped christmas prezzies; helped break a world record with 17,000 people in the UK; watch the church nativity; baked; shopped and much more.

I think i am adapting back into being in the UK fairly well. I haven't had any freek out's thus far and i have been in several shopping centres already. Perhaps it is because i am keeping busy, when you have a dad who is a minister you are always busy at this time of the year. Perhaps it is an answer to all your prayers. Perhaps it's because it feels as though nothing has changed...however that is where i am struggling a bit. You see i expected things to have changed. In some ways they have but in others my brain is struggling to process what it has absorbed over the last three months while life has been continuing here.

One thing i have notcied is a slight change within myself. I was walking through one of those shopping centre's i mentioned and found that i wanted to smile at everyone i met. In addition to that i want to talk to every shop worker i am being served by. Not to be nosey, not to be 'sociable' but because i genuinely want to brighten up their day. I want Christ to reach through me and touch them. Although i wanted this before for some reason it feels easier now and i am not sure why, perhaps it is my shear delight at being home...? I'm not sharing this with you because i want to sound good or christian but because i want to be honest about my whole expereince.

I have also found that i have been presumptious and judgemental regarding the english people. I presumed when i returned i would find it hard because no-one would interact with me but on the same shopping trip, not only did i find myself reacting oddly but, i had three different conversations with serval people in groups, cuplets or individually. It was great! I love talking to people - you all know that! But this was beyond what i was used to and it was lovely.

I would love to know what God is teaching me through all this perhaps one day i will know and perhaps i will never know. Time here certainly moves a lot faster than in Tanzania and i know my perception on how things were has already been completely tainted because I am now surrounded by familurarity. Never underestimate the feeling of comfort which comes from the little things; people wearing clothes you would expect and acknowledge them to wear; black tarmac on roads with central reservations and cows standing in feilds not just walking up the middle of the road; christmas trees in windows; hot water; kettles and washing machines; etc.

I must admit i fear loosing what i knew and understood during my time in Tanzania. However, i trust God will continue to teach and show me things which i can't predict nor forsee. In the meantime i will keep sharing.

Love and blessings, Deborah ><>

"Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." Matt 8:20

Burnt earth and countryside imposes itself upon us as we drive through Tanzania. Here the people burn the surrounding hills before replanting. The problem with this ‘purification’ of the land is that it doesn’t work and it has a negative effect on the environment.

“I hate fire.” mutters the ten year old next to me as we drive through this destroyed environment. “It’s not good for anything.” I try to explain that it is good for warmth, cooking etc but she denies it. And I don’t blame her; why would you accept anything good from the thing which has just changed your existence and you have always known it?

This landscape is a sudden reminder of what we are driving home to face; a burnt existence, ashes remaining of a family’s life as they knew it only two weeks ago.

As we drive through the burnt rolling hills we have to exclaim “Isn’t it stunning!” And it is. The smoke rolls up off the hills and the sun shines through the smog, remaining greenery gleams in exuberant contrast to its smouldered surroundings. It is absolutely beautiful.

This all makes me wonder; what do we classify as home? Is it the physical place where our belongings are? Or where we have the most memories? Is it where our loved ones are? Or where we are placed for the time being?

Technically I guess you could argue that Iringa is my home at the moment, while I am in Tanzania. It is where I am mostly based. However, actually my home is in the UK but even there it is questionable as to where home is for me there.

Last night as I prepared to leave yet another place of residence before completing the last leg of our mini-adventure, inside this great big one I am having. I realised there was part of me dreading going back to Iringa and part of me excited about the prospect and instantly my brain acknowledged it as home. Why I am not sure but it did. It is a muddled feeling to think of it in this way, yet it feels quite peaceful.

But for the Harts will Iringa ever feel like home again? I’m not sure. We will explore this concept more over the coming weeks I feel.

In Matthew Jesus tells the disciples that foxes have homes and birds have nests but the son of man has no-where to rest our head. In Philippians 3:20 Paul tells us that heaven is our home. So is it any wonder we struggle sometimes to define a home on earth?

As an individual who has moved house many times this is an area of conversation I have with my parents regularly; do we have a home as such? In some ways no and, in others, yes. Many times we have been brought back to these bible passages.

One thing which is apparent is that there is ‘stunning’ beauty in everything- even the most burnt, blackened existences. May I be so cheesy as to say; especially when the son shines through?

Even now in the heartbreak and trauma of a burnt lost home God has provided in the most amazing and superb ways; the way only He can! Particularly in the form of good friends – I feel so blessed to have you!

As we drive towards Iringa smoke filling our eyes, so they sting, and our noses, seeing locals burning the land, I wait in trepidation for what God has in store for us now. Holding on to the promise that one day those of us who know Jesus will be home eternally. What a great day that will be!

Later we had a conversation in the car which included where home was for the Hart’s.

Thanks for your love and prayers,

As always please let me know any prayer requests you have.

Love and Blessings, Deborah ><>