Cars, planes and trains...."Wear your traveling clothes...as though prepared for a long journey..." Ex 12:11

So I have returned to York. How odd it feels and yet there is something wonderfully exciting about being home.

I don’t think I ever envisaged this part of the journey. I have looked forward to seeing people I love dearly again but I didn’t actually ever process how it might feel to be in York again. In some ways it feels like I have never left yet I long for the differences to confirm it is not only me who has changed. I must confess I am also scared. What if I bump into someone I know and I have no idea how to react to them. To be honest, a part of me wants to run away. It sounds odd but that is how I process things; to run and hide for a while. Another part of me begs time to stop while I figure out what it is that is happening within my heart and mind but instead time feels as though it passes quicker in England than it did in Tanzania – a feeling I, quite frankly, hate!

Yesterday I boarded my usual two trains and the underground before getting back to York, where I was met by a dear friend whom I am staying with for the weekend. How wonderful it is to catch up with him and his wife! So although there was no plane yesterday it has taken me trains, buses, cars and planes to eventually be back.

Yesterday London was wet, heaving and generally my worst possible travel conditions. God was faithful and led me where I needed to be and there were some lovely people travelling. Something I have discovered since being back is if you are willing to be friendly 90% of people are willing, at least, to smile back. The problem is wanting to make the effort in the first place. Particularly as it seems everyone is pushing to get what is best for them at that particular time but we are called to shine like stars as Christians, are we not? And sometimes that requires us not to do what everyone else is doing, or what seems natural and push our way to the best position. Rather, we should offer it up. That is hard! I am telling you. But sometimes it requires only that we smile, make small talk with people and be polite that in itself can be enough to brighten anyone’s day.

As you are all aware it is new years eve. I love New Year (or Hogmanay and we refer to it in our house) as I offers some time of reflection over the last year and as I take the next step into the year ahead it is good to see the journey I have undertaken with God. It enables me to see His provision in my life and fill me with a new hope for the year ahead. I am always surprised by how much God seems to have filled in my life in a year and how unexpected most of it has been – some of it good, some not so great but all the adventure I took through choice but also through God’s define provision and abundant grace. How grateful I am to share this journey with Him, and most certainly all of you!

This new year’s eve I am doing something quite different. I have always celebrated previous years with my family and then friends, if we were joining them. This year however marks the momentous occasion where I solely celebrate with friends here in York. It wasn’t that I had particularly planned it but simply that it made more sense to be here now rather than try and travel on Monday. As I read my diary I flicked back to find that I had travelled out of York on August 30th and here I was returning on December 30th through no intention of my own – that’s God for you! So I don’t believe this was my planning and I think that it probably is a good representation of what God has been doing in me over the last year.

Anyway, this will be my last blog of this year. I wish you a very Happy, Blessed and Joyful New Year! Thank you for sharing the adventures we have had this year and I look forward to stepping into and sharing the adventures we will have in 2012. See you on the other side...journeying in ways other than cars, trains and aeroplanes...although we might do that as well.

Love and Blessings, Deborah ><>

'For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given...' Isaiah 9:6

Hi, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and I know for several of us we are still enjoying the holidays (for a few more days at least).

As my mother says every year; “Well that’s it for another year.” So what have you gained from the Christmas period?

I love advent. Yes I love Christmas but I have to say advent is my favourite. The run up to Christmas gives me space to ponder why I am celebrating this festival and focus on God. Every year I ask Him to teach me something new from the Christmas period because I believe there is so much in this story which we can learn, with God’s help. However, this year I found I couldn’t ask Him to teach me something new. I am not sure why this is but I think it might have something to do with spending the first three weeks of advent in a hot climate in somewhere which I found it difficult to connect with Christmas. In addition to this I find my mind is half in that world still and thus I can hardly believe Christmas was celebrated. So it has been a struggle to accept my physical surroundings let alone ponder the Christmas story and see what God has to teach me this year.

Having said that, I was reading Vicky Beeching’s (Christian music and song writer) blog on boxing. She was looking at the Christmas message in association with the prodigal son and I found that an interesting comparison. I gained so much from another’s insights that I couldn’t help but wonder whether you had learnt anything this year?

I have been taking daily walks for the last week for about an hour at a time. I was out in the beautiful kent countryside yesterday afternoon and was talking to God. I will be honest I love York but I am struggling with the concept of returning in two days time (the horses in the field next to me must have thought I was going mad). I was being honest with God about the whole thing. As we were talking I found myself bringing up the topic of Christmas and my sadness at not having learnt anything new. As I talked to Him about it I realised that something I think is wonderful about the Christmas story is how God provides. He is present in all the little things. He doesn’t leave Joseph to grapple with whether to leave Mary or stay, although I think He did give Joseph the time to grapple for a while, but instead sent and angel to Him also. He involved some unsuspecting shepherds. He told the wise men to go home a different route and sent Mary and Joseph to Egypt. He was present in the little things. Although I am sure we would agree we would have preferred better accommodation than a stable, and let’s face it if God is God he could have arranged it, that it was His perfect plan. Did Mary and Joseph complain? I don’t know, it’s not recorded if they did but I bet they were just relieved to have somewhere to stay and how many of us have been in situations and wanted something better yet at the same time been relieved it wasn’t worse? I know I have (a lot recently). He picked the one person who could relate to Mary’s situation to be a relation; her cousin Elizabeth. God is in the little things. What is more, this is the case for us today too. If we let Him God will be in every little thing. I have experienced that hugely over the last few months. I am grateful that I no longer have to pray for water on a regular basis but did God object to me asking? I don’t think so and did He answer and provide Yes He did because He loves us and enjoys being involved in every aspect of our lives.

So can I encourage you to ask God to speak into the little things in your lives? Also, please share anything you have been learning this Christmas in the comments section bellow.

Thanks. Much love and Blessings and I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and have some brilliant new year celebrations this weekend. Deborah ><>

'One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.' Jane Austen, Emma

Hi all,

So i have been home two whole weeks! I can hardly believe it! What is more it was christmas at the weekend and that is the most bazzar concept i can fathom. But HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

These weeks feel as though they have passed rather quickly. During this time I have; washed clothes (in a washing machine!!!!!!!); sang christmas carols; wrapped christmas prezzies; helped break a world record with 17,000 people in the UK; watch the church nativity; baked; shopped and much more.

I think i am adapting back into being in the UK fairly well. I haven't had any freek out's thus far and i have been in several shopping centres already. Perhaps it is because i am keeping busy, when you have a dad who is a minister you are always busy at this time of the year. Perhaps it is an answer to all your prayers. Perhaps it's because it feels as though nothing has changed...however that is where i am struggling a bit. You see i expected things to have changed. In some ways they have but in others my brain is struggling to process what it has absorbed over the last three months while life has been continuing here.

One thing i have notcied is a slight change within myself. I was walking through one of those shopping centre's i mentioned and found that i wanted to smile at everyone i met. In addition to that i want to talk to every shop worker i am being served by. Not to be nosey, not to be 'sociable' but because i genuinely want to brighten up their day. I want Christ to reach through me and touch them. Although i wanted this before for some reason it feels easier now and i am not sure why, perhaps it is my shear delight at being home...? I'm not sharing this with you because i want to sound good or christian but because i want to be honest about my whole expereince.

I have also found that i have been presumptious and judgemental regarding the english people. I presumed when i returned i would find it hard because no-one would interact with me but on the same shopping trip, not only did i find myself reacting oddly but, i had three different conversations with serval people in groups, cuplets or individually. It was great! I love talking to people - you all know that! But this was beyond what i was used to and it was lovely.

I would love to know what God is teaching me through all this perhaps one day i will know and perhaps i will never know. Time here certainly moves a lot faster than in Tanzania and i know my perception on how things were has already been completely tainted because I am now surrounded by familurarity. Never underestimate the feeling of comfort which comes from the little things; people wearing clothes you would expect and acknowledge them to wear; black tarmac on roads with central reservations and cows standing in feilds not just walking up the middle of the road; christmas trees in windows; hot water; kettles and washing machines; etc.

I must admit i fear loosing what i knew and understood during my time in Tanzania. However, i trust God will continue to teach and show me things which i can't predict nor forsee. In the meantime i will keep sharing.

Love and blessings, Deborah ><>

For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Matt 18:20

"The enemy knows that we are more vulnerable when we are removed from our support systems. All too often that is when believers get themselves into trouble. Vulnerability to others leads to strength." Rebecca St James

So we are back in the UK!!

It was a crazy last few weeks. Firstly my computer died after a power surge and therefore i had little to no connection to the internet, hence not being able to write a blog. Then i got incredibly poorly through my doxicycline getting stuck in my esophogus. After a 6 days of pain every time i swallowed food or drink, one night of excruciating pain where lieing and and swallowing saliva was agony, and an inspection from a retired doctor it was decided i should see a doctor in Dar Es Salam. Turn out Doxicyclin has an acid external coating which when stuck in your esophegus can cause ulceration. As it was uncertain that they would be able to help me in Dar i was told i had to pack up all my things and plan for returning to the UK a week and a half before i was due to leave. Faced with a potential few hours left in Iringa I said goodbye to as many people as i could and headed to my, potentially last, bible study group which i had joined while i was there. At this group I was sat in the middle of a circle and prayed for. I also let people know at home i needed prayer and they promised me they were praying.

The next day i got on a bus and headed on a 9 hour journey to Dar. It was aweful drinking let alone eating anything. We arrived in Dar to find out the machine we needed to check my esophogus was in one particular hospital and the person who knew how to work it had died the year before. I just thought 'that's it, i'm going home to England as there is no point me going to Nairobi to see someone. The next mornig i got out of bed and had a cup of tea...it idn't hurt!! I had breakfast and with every swallow i waited and...it didn't hurt! Coincidence? Perhaps but for me that is a bit too big a coincidence.

We went to the hospital anyway and saw a general doctor who said if i was making progress it sounded as though i would be ok but prescribed something incase it got worse again. The next day i took the bus back to Iringa and enjoyed my last week in town and week and a half in Tanzania. It might be a coincidence in some people's eyes but i believe it was an answer to prayer and because people loved and supported me in this powerful way.

Back in Iringa I enjoyed a last day at school, served at Neema and celebrated proper goodbyes. Then we got on a bus and travelled back to Dar before heading on two minibuses and a taxi to the airport on tuesday morning.

Now i am home and trying to absorb all that has happened. I sat on the airoplane and thought 'gosh that really all happened!'. For three months nothing has been predictable or known and now i am surrounded by familiar surroundings it feels like some strange comma i was in. Yet i have scars and marks to show for the time missing. Part of the marks include those left by people i met and love in Iringa. Others are from those here who i left behind.

One thing i learnt while i was there was that in order to build relationships in a constantly changing community you have to be vulnerable and jump right in. I tried to do this. The truth is this leads to hurt and pain but the other option is never fitting in, never making an impact and not fulfilling the role God has for you to do. It hurts!!! But gosh is the pain worth it!!

The quote i have today is from a Christian Song writer and artist Rebecca St James. This is a woman of God who is a real inspirtation to me.

I was removed from all my support systems physically when i left for Africa but God was with me. he provided new support systems and gave me the choice to accept or decline them. Now i am home and hurting it would be easy for me to say 'why did i even bother?' but i praise God that He gave me those relationship, even as i was sitting on the bus to Dar on Sunday morning bawling my eyes out i praise Him for the opportunity to meet and build the relationships i have. They have been so imcredibly important to me and i believe it was because of their prayers that i was healed and could return to Iringa for one last week. They stood be side me and cried on God for healing.

Of course it wasn't and hasn't been just them who have supported me. Each of you have been praying and supporting me through e-mails and facebook messages, reading this blog, comments etc. I have never once forgotten how much love and support i have received from you all and continue to do so. It is because of you that I have been protected and had strength. So Thank You!!

I will continue to keep you updated as i walk through this continnuing adventure now i have returned to the UK.

Thank you again, all my love and prayers, Deborah ><>