So I have returned to York. How odd it feels and yet there is something wonderfully exciting about being home.
I don’t think I ever envisaged this part of the journey. I have looked forward to seeing people I love dearly again but I didn’t actually ever process how it might feel to be in York again. In some ways it feels like I have never left yet I long for the differences to confirm it is not only me who has changed. I must confess I am also scared. What if I bump into someone I know and I have no idea how to react to them. To be honest, a part of me wants to run away. It sounds odd but that is how I process things; to run and hide for a while. Another part of me begs time to stop while I figure out what it is that is happening within my heart and mind but instead time feels as though it passes quicker in England than it did in Tanzania – a feeling I, quite frankly, hate!
Yesterday I boarded my usual two trains and the underground before getting back to York, where I was met by a dear friend whom I am staying with for the weekend. How wonderful it is to catch up with him and his wife! So although there was no plane yesterday it has taken me trains, buses, cars and planes to eventually be back.
Yesterday London was wet, heaving and generally my worst possible travel conditions. God was faithful and led me where I needed to be and there were some lovely people travelling. Something I have discovered since being back is if you are willing to be friendly 90% of people are willing, at least, to smile back. The problem is wanting to make the effort in the first place. Particularly as it seems everyone is pushing to get what is best for them at that particular time but we are called to shine like stars as Christians, are we not? And sometimes that requires us not to do what everyone else is doing, or what seems natural and push our way to the best position. Rather, we should offer it up. That is hard! I am telling you. But sometimes it requires only that we smile, make small talk with people and be polite that in itself can be enough to brighten anyone’s day.
As you are all aware it is new years eve. I love New Year (or Hogmanay and we refer to it in our house) as I offers some time of reflection over the last year and as I take the next step into the year ahead it is good to see the journey I have undertaken with God. It enables me to see His provision in my life and fill me with a new hope for the year ahead. I am always surprised by how much God seems to have filled in my life in a year and how unexpected most of it has been – some of it good, some not so great but all the adventure I took through choice but also through God’s define provision and abundant grace. How grateful I am to share this journey with Him, and most certainly all of you!
This new year’s eve I am doing something quite different. I have always celebrated previous years with my family and then friends, if we were joining them. This year however marks the momentous occasion where I solely celebrate with friends here in York. It wasn’t that I had particularly planned it but simply that it made more sense to be here now rather than try and travel on Monday. As I read my diary I flicked back to find that I had travelled out of York on August 30th and here I was returning on December 30th through no intention of my own – that’s God for you! So I don’t believe this was my planning and I think that it probably is a good representation of what God has been doing in me over the last year.
Anyway, this will be my last blog of this year. I wish you a very Happy, Blessed and Joyful New Year! Thank you for sharing the adventures we have had this year and I look forward to stepping into and sharing the adventures we will have in 2012. See you on the other side...journeying in ways other than cars, trains and aeroplanes...although we might do that as well.
Love and Blessings, Deborah ><>
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